My Life As A Titan
by MissHydraZen
Summary: Set 2 years after Trouble in Tokyo. Pretty much just Raven's life as she deals with friendship, lurve, bad guys, forced shopping trips and other waffle related incidents. Rated T to be safe. BB/Rae, Rob/Star and maybe Cy/Bee and KF/J
1. waking up to waffles

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, it wouldn't have gotten cancelled

I know, I hate the title too but i'm very tired and its all i could think of.

Alright so this is my first go at a titans fic so don't be too cruel

Should i continue?

Should i not?

I know its a bit (lot) ooc but bare with me.

I awoke to find my toes very cold and my head very hot. I first didn't worry me too much considering winter was coming on and Silkie had devoured the power cord of my heater. The second however was a little more concerning. I groggily wiped the sleep from my eyes and squinted into the light now flooding my room, half expecting to see Beastboy setting my pillow on fire. Instead my eyes fell upon a redheaded alien in a floral t-shirt holding a long black object and tugging on my hair.

"Starfire...are you straightening my hair?"

"Oh! Good morning Raven, forgive me, I did not mean to wake you."

"You're straightening my hair aren't you?"

"I awoke this morning feeling very much alive and full of energy, but no one else had risen yet so I-"

"You were actually straightening my hair while I was asleep."

"Well you never let me do it while you are awake."

...

"I suppose you do have a point there."

"Thank you, I thought I was being quite innovative."

She beamed happily, patted me on the head and floated over to my wardrobe. As I hauled myself into a sitting position I had to duck as Starfire flung various items of clothing at me.

"Dare I ask what you're doing now?"

"I am finding an outfit for you to wear today."

Oh no, the last 'outfit' she put together for me involved unicorns. And feathers.

"Um...can't I just wear my uniform?"

"No Raven, do you not recall? We are going shopping today with Bumblebee and Jinx."

Shopping?

Shopping.

Right.

"Oh...yeah...but Star," I said as I dodged a pair of pants "isn't the point of going shopping in the first place, that I don't have any nice clothes?"

"No Raven the point is to enjoy ourselves, to bond and to spend at least some on our monthly monetary sum before the boys fritter it away on junk food and the videogames."

How very devious of her.

"Wow Star, I'm impressed."

"Once again thank you." And she went back to her futile search for anything that could be deemed fashionable.

I dragged myself out of bed, made my way over to my dressing table and began to half-heartedly run a brush through my now nearly waist length hair. I really should get it cut soon but ever since it grew past my shoulders I can't do it myself and every time I went to the hairdressers the woman spent the whole time bombarding me with questions about how hot Robin's legs were and when did I think he would dump 'that alien chick', all the while waving her scissors dangerously close to my ear. Getting Starfire to cut it was out too seeing as the front bits were still shorter than the rest from the last time she decided I would look 'glorious' with a fringe.  
Oh well, just let it grow Raven, and when it starts to become a safety hazard just get the kitchen scissors and hack it all off.  
That right there's the master plan.

"Ooh ooh Raven, this is the one!"

I was jerked back to Earth by Starfire waving a light blue something in my face. Upon closer inspection I identified it as one of the hundreds of tops Starfire had either bought for me of forced me to buy for myself. This was one of the better ones though; there _was_ some lace on the sleeves but at least there was no pink glitter involved and I could always snip off the lace while Star wasn't looking.  
Why do all my plans involve scissors?

"Ok." I nodded and obediently changed into the shirt and some jeans I found hanging from the lampshade. When I was finished I held up my arms for inspection.

"Am I done?"

"I do not suppose there is any way I could prevail upon you to wear the lip colouring, is there?"

"No, no there is not."

"Then you are done...Oh!" She seemed to have been struck by genius once more "Come! We shall make the boys breakfast! They are always so kind, insisting we not cook for them, they deserve to be treated!"

With another giggle of joy she zoomed from the room, clapping her hands in excitement. Deciding not to burst her bubble by telling her that the reason for the boys 'insisting we not cook for them' was that whatever she prepared usually had the ability to crawl away and I always seemed to manage to set whatever I was trying to make on fire, whether I was using a stove or not.

When I arrived in the common room it was to find Beastboy and Cyborg waving waffles in each other's faces and Robin helping Starfire scrape her remaining zorga berries off the inside of the fridge.

"Uh, Star...I'm not sure these are still, you know...edible." He was saying, holding up a particularly greenish clump.

"Do not be silly Robin, the mould simply adds texture." Star giggled at her boyfriend's foolishness.

"Oh...um...o-of course...er... Good morning Raven."

"Morning." I grinned as Starfire waved at me and shoved a spoonful of mouldy berries into an unsuspecting Robin's mouth. I watched as our fearless leader turned the same shade of green as the alien fruit.

"They are good, yes?" Star's eyes glistened expectantly. It was a mark of their love that Robin swallowed the mouthful and nodded feebly before discreetly scrapping his tongue with a fork when she turned her back.

"Hey Rae!" Beastboy beamed dashing around the counter towards me still clutching his waffle.  
I did not want to know how long he had been holding that thing.  
"Would you please tell metal-butt here how much better tofu waffles are than those other cow by-products!"

Cyborg suddenly appeared on my other side. "Shut it green genes, everyone knows there's no substitute for a good old fashioned American waffle. Right, Raven?"

Why did they always ask _me_?

"Why do you always ask _me_?

This, I thought, was a fair and just question. It was ignored however, as the morons it was directed at were off in waffle world.

"Alright, the meat thing I kinda get, but why do you gotta be such a wimp about milk? Cows need to be milked! We're doing them a favour!"

"They only need to be milked cause humans made them evolve that way! It doesn't change the fact that you are drinking the life juice of cattle!"

At that point everyone in the kitchen turned to look at Beastboy with expressions ranging from bemusement to disgust.

"Yo man that's nasty..." Cyborg grimaced, holding his beloved waffles as far away from Beastboy as possible.

"Hey, you're the one who drinks it, not me." He shrugged, then turned back to me. "So tell him."

"Leave me alone Garfield."

"No, tell _him_ that he's insane!" Cyborg huffed.

It's like I'm not even talking.

"Oh what, I care about innocent cows so now I'm crazy?!"

I could say anything right now and they wouldn't even hear me. Which I normally wouldn't mind but they keep trying to get me involved in this doomed conversation.

"Milk-hater!"

Ok enough of this.

"Murderer!"

"Guys, guys," I said, holding up my hands and making my way around the counter to where Robin and Starfire were trying to ignore the situation around them as best they could. "As I'm sure you know by now, after knowing me for many years, I simply _live_ to solve your sad little problems for you-" they had the decency to look sheepish "- however this particular morning you'll have to excuse me, as I shall helping Starfire here prepare you all a lovely breakfast."

My sugary smile widened as I saw the horror on their faces.

"Oh yes! Fear not friends! It shall be a wonderful meal!" Star gushed; leaping towards the cupboard in search what I could only imagine was fungus.

Robin had stumbled over to stand with Cyborg and Beastboy and they were now all wearing identical faces of terror. After a few minutes Beastboy seemed to have recovered enough to look at me reproachfully.

"Why?" He mouthed silently.

I shrugged as Starfire emerged from the cupboard, clutching several jars with murky, and no doubt, pickled contents.

"Now, boys, would you prefer five month matured foot of the Cartheckian squid or the ripened essence of Tameranian gong orb?" She asked, presenting two particularly festy looking jars.

There was a moment of silent revulsion before Robin quickly glanced at his wrist and sprang back from the counter.

"Oh is that the time? I really have to get those police reports in, you know how they get when they're late." He blurted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But Robin, you do not wear a watch..." Starfire blinked in confusion.

Knowing he had to act fast, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before bolting from the kitchen in the streak of multicoloured spandex. Star stood there, still holding her jars and looking slightly miffed. Cyborg took her momentary silence to announce that he had definitely put off patching up the hole in the T-Ship for too long and rushed off to fix it leaving Beastboy alone and practically sweating.

"Beastboy, you will remain, shall you not?" Star said hopefully, waggling the jars in his face.

"Oh no sorry Star, I-uh...I have to go too actually..." he gulped, slowly edging towards the door.

"Why must you?"

"Um..."

This ought to be good.

"Well..."

"Yes Garfield" I grinned, leaning against the counter "Do tell us."

He narrowed his eyes at me as Starfire moved to block the door.

"Gladly Raven, I'm very busy; you see...I have an appointment down at the...orphanage. I have to help hand out...puppies."

Puppies? Seriously?

"Puppies?" Starfire frowned in sympathy.

Oh come on! Even Star couldn't buy that.

"Yes" he nodded solemnly "you see the poor children, the lost their...roof in a...freak cyclone."

"Oh that is awful!" Star gasped.

"So you're going to give them puppies?" Even for one of Beastboy's lies, the logic was feeble.

"Yeah" he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "Puppies make people feel better. Duh! And you know," he leaned in and whispered to Starfire "They're pretty sick kids...dying even!"

Dying orphans. He used dying orphans.

Star had tears in her eyes as she practically pushed him out door "Go! Bring those poor, deprived children their puppies!" She cried before closing her eyes and saying a silent Tameranian prayer for the non-existent terminal kids.

Azar help me.

Before the door of the common room slid shut Beastboy turned around and grinned triumphantly back at me.

Idiot.

I rolled my eyes at him in what I thought was a very 'you-are-a-moronic-imbecile-and-I-will-hurt-you-next-time-I-get-the-chance' sort of way. He just winked at me and ran off down the hallway before Starfire decided to make him a snack for the road.

Once her silent mourning was over Star looked at me disappointedly.

"So...I am guessing we shall not be making them breakfast after all."

When I first joined the Titans I would have just shrugged and walked out of the room to go get some meditation done, however the years of being forced to watch Disney movies with Starfire and Beast Boy and doing arts and crafts with Melvin, Timmy and Teether have made me go soft.

"Don't worry about it Star, you've still got shopping to look forward to, right?"

She nodded, somewhat less glumly but still not as bubbly as I had come to expect.

_Don't say it._

But she's still sad.

_I'm warning you, you'll regret it._

Shut up brain, I'm in charge here.

"I'll let you buy me something pink..."

Star's head snapped up and she looked at me sceptically.

"You are being serious?"

_No!_

"Yep."

_Fool!_

"And you will wear it when we go to the movies tonight?"

_Absolutely not!_

"If it means that much to you..."

_It was nice knowing you._

"Oh Raven, that would be wonderful! Come!" She beamed, shoving the remaining zorga berries into her mouth and grabbing my arm, "we must not be late for our friends, go fetch your bag!"

Well at least she feels better.

Lazy thing that I am, I teleported up to my room, stuffed the essentials (money, communicator, house keys etc) into a bag I hoped remotely match what I was wearing and poofed back downstairs.

When Starfire was ready we snuck in Cyborg's room, stole the keys to the T-Car and made a mad dash for the garage before he could notice we'd stolen his baby.


	2. of bonding and lace

Disclaimer: Still own nothing

Thanks so much to all the awesomes who reviewed/ favourite etc. It makes me far happier than it should.

But yes...

Oh and I'm Australian so if I get stuff wrong about the US of A you'll have to forgive me

* * *

I swear I could have died that day.

I am NOT exaggerating; I will never get in a car that Starfire is driving ever again, so long as I live.

I don't want to get too into it but let's just say she got the red and green lights mixed up.

"I do not know why you are so upset Raven, no one was injured, Cyborg's baby is untarnished and we are just in time to meet our friends."

I staggered out of the car, immensely thankful to be back on stable ground.

"I'm not sure 'upset' is the right word Starfire," I groaned, trying my best to maintain my monotone, "I think 'fearful for my life' would be closer."

Not for the first time that day I was completely ignored as Star leaped rather gracefully from the T-Car, locking it behind her.

"Come Raven, we must not delay, the day is getting on and we have hundreds of stores to partake in." And with that she skipped off across the mall's car park, her hair swinging madly behind her.

Hundreds?

HUNDREDS?

I did not sign up for hundreds!

Maybe I can sneak away...she wouldn't really notice...

"Raven!"

"...Coming..."

My spidey senses predict a long day ahead.

* * *

We found Jinx sitting quietly by herself under one of the food court's many fake palm trees, reading a magazine.

Funny, she never really struck me as the _Seventeen_ type of gal.

Did I just use the word 'gal'?

Oh dear.

"Jinx!" Starfire cried joyfully in the poor girl's ear, causing her to spin around rather violently "I am overjoyed to see you have also arrived on time for our wondrous day of shopping!"

"Um yea...it's nice to see you too, I guess."

I understood, it takes a while to get used to the word 'wondrous' actually being used in sentences around you.

"Hey." I offered.

"Hey." She gave me back the exact same look of 'not that it isn't lovely seeing you and all but how friendly are we actually supposed to be towards each other' that I had given her.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Jinx, I mean, she'd proved herself time and time again and I had to admit I did like her style, but after one is enemies with someone for the best part of two years then thrust into an all-day shopping extravaganza there's bound to be some awkwardness.

Apparently no one told Starfire.

"So," She sighed, plopping down next to Jinx and propping her cheek against her hand "while we await Bumblebee, why do we not exchange personal facts about ourselves."

I took my seat on Jinx's other side tentatively. The last time I 'exchanged personal facts' with people other than my teammates, Pantha had nearly choked to death on her glass of milk.

And she's one tough girly.

Girly?

Oh well I guess it's an improvement on 'gal'.

"Um...ok...? Like what?"

Yes Jinx, be afraid.

"Oh, well I shall go first." Star smiled, settling into her seat. "I enjoy basking in the sun's rays and consuming large quantities of ice-cream with mustard."

"Mustard? Really?"

"Indeed, I find it goes with almost anything."

"Kay...if you say so..."

"So now." Starfire clapped her hands as if she had just achieved something rather monumental, "Jinx, please tell us about any pets you may have had."

Jinx looked a little taken back but after a second of thought she gave Star a sort of half-smile "Well when I was twelve I had I frog called Alfredo..."

Alfredo?

Nice.

"But you know we weren't really allowed to have pets at H.I.V.E so I had to get rid of him."

"Oh Jinx, that is terrible, I am so sorry for your loss." Starfire looked like she was absolutely horrified with herself; having brought up such painful memories.

Jinx just shrugged, "It wasn't so bad. SeeMor- a friend helped me find him a nice swamp." She finished quietly not meeting our eyes.

It looked like Starfire was about to ask her what was wrong so I aimed a kick at her under the table and shot her a look that I hoped said something like 'she's doesn't want to talk about her H.I.V.E friends, don't push her' . It either worked or she was distracted by the sudden pain in her ankle because Starfire then turned her attention on me.

"And now Raven, will you please tell us about..." She seemed to be searching for a good topic "your most cherished childhood memory."

She couldn't have been serious.

I think my mouth actually fell open for a moment there.

"Starfire, you know I didn't really 'cherish' anything about my childhood." I muttered, absentmindedly fingering the zip of my bag.

Star seemed to have realised her mistake as she bit her lip.

"Oh, I am most sorry Raven, please forgive me, both of you, I seem to have put my foot into my mouth quite a bit today."

I looked up and saw Starfire hanging her head and Jinx looking at me with a strange mix of awkward curiosity. When I met her eyes she quickly became very interested in a chip in her nail polish.

Great Raven, you have successfully killed another perfectly decent conversation with your weird emo vibes. Well done.

Sigh.

"Well, you know now you mention it," I smiled, "When I was seven there was this really amazing festival, right outside my bedroom window. I wasn't allowed to go or anything but I did have a pretty good view and my mum brought me home lots of books and stuff."

There, hopefully that wasn't too depressing.

Though I think it did come across a bit 'little match girl'.

Oh well, I tried.

"That's cool, I love festivals, they always sell some pretty freaky stuff." Jinx said, grinning at me and then glancing back at Starfire.

Our efforts to her cheer up had seemingly not gone astray as she then launched into a very detailed description of the Tameranian Stilvog Festival, where it was expected to walk around naked and tie balloons to your hair.

Not really my scene but whatever.

Most of the awkwardness had evaporated by the time a disgruntled looking Bumblebee turned up and flopped down beside me.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late but you would not believe what those morons did to our kitchen! It'll take weeks to repair!" She pinched the bridge of her nose at the idiocy of boys in a way that was all too familiar to me. I feel closer to these girls every day.

"Please, by the morons, you are referring to your teammates?"

"Uh huh, you know, some people just really shouldn't be allowed to have access to power tools."

Truer words were never spoken.

"Yes, we know" Star nodded solemnly and glanced at me "Garfield is one of those people."

Oh please, he's king of those people.

"Well did Beast Boy decide it was time to whip out the jackhammer because the fridge door was jammed?"

That's nothing.

"No" I told her "but he did go at my door hinges with a chainsaw once because I was ignoring him."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

The first on a list of many electronics related disasters.

"In his defence however, I do believe he was joking."

"My door begs to differ Starfire."

Bumblebee was silent for a moment then she folded her arms in triumph.

"I still win."

"What? How?"

"Well your story was kind of sweet."

...

?

Meh?

"You did hear me say chainsaw, yea?"

Starfire giggled, which did not help my poor confused brain in the slightest.

"Well he did that 'cause he wanted to be with you; that's sweet, they killed my fridge cause they wanted bacon; that's sad."

Again; meh?

Was I the only one who heard the CHAINSAW bit?

Seemingly that was the case because Starfire was nodding again.

Sweet?

Sweet.

...

Nup, don't see it.

Nothing involving a chainsaw is sweet.

"...No."

"But-"

"I'm with you on this one" Jinx said to me, putting her magazine back in her bag, "Mammoth used to always put holes in my door. I know that he was just knocking most of the time but it was still annoying."

"Thank you."

"Sure."

"Well nonetheless, we have much of the shopping to do and only six hours to do it in." Starfire, proclaimed standing up and beckoning for us to follow.

As she and Bumblebee walked along in front of me giggling about something, Jinx leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Six hours?"

"Don't worry; she'll do most of the work we just have to be her Barbie dolls."

This did not seem to reassure her much as we were dragged first alarmingly frilly shop that Star laid eyes on.

"Oh look Raven! These heeled shoes are in exactly your size!"

And so it began.

* * *

Three hours later I was the not so proud owner of five new tops, two new pairs of jeans, a sequined skirt I intended to burn at the first opportunity and a rainbow striped beanie.

When, in all our years together did I ever indicate to Starfire my undying urge to own a rainbow hat of any kind?

All in all however I think I weathered the fashion storm rather well and had come out relatively unscathed. Jinx had ended up with an ankle length orange skirt with purple poodles on it and Bumblebee was currently being forced to wear her new 'I'm Da Princess' t-shirt; complete with diamontes.

After a mustard-free lunch, much to Starfire's disappointment, we had just decided to investigate the new CD store when the orange alien got a look in her eye that had me rather worried.

"Raven, I have yet to select you a new pink garment for this evening."

Damn.

_Told ya you'd regret it._

Damn.

_Can't back out now..._

I winced; I couldn't help it. "Just nothing too...shiny ok?"

"Shiny is as shiny does Raven."

That doesn't even make sense.

"Now this, I must see."

Oh shut up, you go around dressed like a bug all day.

"I think pink and shiny will look absolutely fabulous on her."

And you, you...have pink hair...

_You have purple hair._

Touché

"Let's just get this over with." I groaned as Starfire pulled me into yet another store.

"Oh you know what Star; I think she should get a matching headband too."

"That is a wonderful idea Bumblebee!"

"I could kill you all and nobody would ever know."

"Yeah, but you won't."

"Hey, I didn't know the good guys did death threats too! Cool!"

* * *

"You look..."

"Stupid?"

"Different, I was gonna say different."

"_Right_..."

I brought my knees up under my chin and wrapped my jacket tightly around myself in an effort to hide as much of my dress as possible. A pink dress. What was the world coming to?

I scowled up at the green idiot who was giving me a very wounded look.

"Would I lie to you?"

"May I remind you of the dying orphans?"

"Well that wasn't so much of a lie as a survival technique."

"Again; _right."_

We sat in silence for a moment as we waited in the common room for the others to come downstairs so we could get going. I watched as the rain softly pattered against the windowpanes. I liked rain; it was so soothing.

"Oh my God..."

Oh what now?

"What?" I turned my head back around to look at Beastboy and found his face mere centimetres from mine. What part of personal space bubble did this boy not comprehend? "Do you _mind_?"

"Raven...you're wearing lipstick..."

Dammit! The mission is compromised! Abort! Abort!

_Calm down; just coolly and tactfully lead him off the scent._

"What? No! You Lie!"

_Smooth._

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not; my lips are naturally this colour."

"No they're not, they're grey!"

"How dare you!"

"Why is that an insult? You're skin is grey!"

"...I will give you that."

"You're wearing lipstick."

_Damn you Starfire._

"It's lip balm! It has medicinal properties!"

_Scraping the bottom of the barrel, much, there?_

"Pink frills and lipstick; all in one night. Is this a really fancy cinema or are you just not feeling well?"

_Ok, you suck at defending yourself; time to go on the offensive._

"Alright, look" I fixed Beastboy with my deadliest glare, "I had to do this to cheer up Starfire because you and the other nitwits wouldn't eat her pickled tentacles or whatever and besides, though it may have escaped your notice Garfield, but I _am_ a girl and as such I am perfectly entitled to wear dresses and make up......and they're not frills, it's lace, I'm pretty sure there's a difference."

Leaving Beastboy to his stunned silence, I pulled a book out of the coffee table drawer and began to read. Several minutes had passed before he seemed to have worked up the courage to speak again, and even then his voice was meek.

"I know you're a girl..."

Er...thank you?

"Right well...I should hope so."

I only got another minute or so of reading in before his voice cut the silence again.

"I mean, it's not that you don't look pretty or anything but it was just kind of a shock you know and-"

_Oh dear, he's floundering, this could go on for hours..._

"It's ok Beastboy, you're forgiven."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Whoa...who are you and what have you done with Raven?"

Oh what? Is it so impossible that I would be nice to him?

"Garfield, shut up and let me read, you're giving me a headache."

"That's ma girl."

...

Nah, I'll let that one slide; it's not worth risking him starting another conversation.

When the others arrived I was treated to similar looks of shock from Cyborg and Robin.

"Wow Rae don't you look..." Cyborg began

"Yes, yes _different_, I know, why don't you tease those two; they match." I said, gesturing to Robin and Starfire whose dress was the exact colour of her boyfriend's shirt.

"Damn, dude whipped much?"

Someone actually took my advice?

_This requires documentation._

Robin folded his arms and glared at us, "I happen to enjoy wearing teal, thank you very much."

"As do I!"

"Not helping Star."

"Sorry."

"Well we better get going ya'll" Cyborg said checking the watch in his arm as Beast Boy made rather revolting kissy faces at Robin and Starfire, "Most of the good movies start around seven."

There was a general murmur of agreement and we made our way down to the car.

* * *

A/N: I know worst chapter ending ever, but it was getting longish and I just wanted to get it posted.

Hopefully the next time you hear from me I'll actually have a plot.

Toodles my lovlies


	3. clash of the titans

Disclaimer: you know the drill, I'm poor don't sue me

Ok so once again thanks sooooo much to all my lurveleh reviewers/ favouriters etc. You are all very kind ladies and gentlefolk and I shall hold you in my heart for eternity (I'm trying to spice up my 'thank you's, can you tell?)

And also thank you to 'bk00' who alerted me to the dodgeyness of my paragraphs and saved me from any such fails in the future. In my defence when I typed it up it had little asterisks (***) but apparently fanfiction doesn't like that and deleted them . I went back and read it again it really didn't make much sense without them so sorry about that and thanks again dude. Anyway I hope I fixed it, I think I did but my internet is being quite the little bi-atch lately so I'm not sure. As my dear friend pointed out, I could have just used dashes (---) but I've already changed it and as I said to her 'I'm using those big ass line things now and no one can stop me!'

Hem hem...

By the way, said friend is now helping me with a plotline and ideas.

For someone who never reads A/Ns, I really do write quite long ones, eh?. Anyway on with the show.

* * *

Well this is...mediocre.

Although... Sam Worthington is pretty hot for a bloke in a skirt.

...

'Bloke in a skirt'? What is _wrong_ with me today?

Even in the dark of the cinema I could tell that Starfire was disappointed that _Clash of the Titans_ didn't involve people who resembled us clashing with things.

"Holy crap dude! It's a giant freakin' scorpion!"

"I reckon!"

Why? Why do I always end up sitting in between these two imbeciles?

At that point Starfire leaned across Robin to whisper to me, "I had something very similar to that as a pet when I was a child."

Of course she did.

"Her name was Frugalike"

Of course it was.

...

Oh look, I think one of them died...

...Wait...no, no he got up again...yay.

_~20 odd minutes later~_

"Dude! Did you see that?"

"Yes, Garfield it's a giant river, it's hard not to see."

"...Just checking."

"Your concern touches me."

"Hush!" Starfire reached across Robin again and hit my ear. I think she was aiming for my arm. "I believe they will have the lip contact soon!"

Well, they did go below deck so it was extremely likely.

Oh, no she's just teaching him how to not get killed.

...

Oh, no she's not! ...Ok then...

I had just averted me eyes; in no mood to see two skirt-wearing people make out when a loud ripping noise made my head snap up. There was a suddenly a great gaping hole in the screen and as we leapt to our feet I saw the silhouette of a small, skinny man in spandex burst forth.

"Lights out Titans!"

...No...freakin'...way...

There, in the hole he had torn in the screen stood Dr Light, one hand on his hip the other waving a torch menacingly. No generator, no giant light globe, just a puny little flashlight. If I wasn't so shocked and disturbed I would have been insulted.

As Robin and I exchanged a look of 'what has he been smoking this time?' Beast Boy burst out laughing and had to sit down again.

"You dare laugh at Dr Light?"

"Dude! What the HELL?"

"Er...I am here to destroy you..."

"With a flashlight?" Beast Boy made valiant effort to get up again but he was laughing so hard that he had to lean on me for support. He was quite a bit bigger than me at that stage so I staggered a bit but Robin propped me up.

"This is no ordinary flashlight, fools! It is powered by the great electricity generated by the suit!"

This guy was almost out-lame-ing Control Freak.

Raising a hand, I consumed the torch in a circle of dark energy and crushed it.

Titans= 1, Dr Light= minus a million

"What? No! You can't do that! I didn't even get to try it out!" He pointed a bony finger at me, "You! It's always you!"

I gave a shrug, which under Beast Boy's weight probably just looked like a twitch.

"Don't you twitch at me!"

There you go.

I raised my hand again, this time wrapping the idiot in question in the blackness, and promptly floated him out him door.

"Right, well, sorry about this folks!" Robin called as we filled out into the isle. "I'm sure you'll be able to get your money back, if not arrange another session time."

I could feel the stares ranging from admiration to blind confusion on my back as we walked back out into the light. No pun intended.

"You just wait until I'm free Titans! Then you'll all pay!"

"Oh can it, Light."

"No one makes a mockery of me! No one!"

"Dude, we make a mockery of you every time we see you."

"...well....hmm"

Wow, sad, truly sad.

Robin walked back over to us, having stepped aside to call the police; "Well the authorities should be here for you in about fifteen minutes Dr Light, so... I guess we'll be seeing you soon."

"Good bye," he sighed. "Thank you for not injuring me this time"

Worst bad guy ever. Even Control Freak had the good sense to keep insulting us until the cops dragged him away.

"Er...right..."

We hurried out onto the footpath that was now bathed in the light from the street lamps and Beast Boy started laughing again.

"What a moron!"

"It really does make you wonder how they always escape, doesn't it."

How bad must our prisons be that even these hopeless cases can break out of them?

Starfire sighed and leant against Robin, who put an arm around her shoulders, "I really did desire to see the end of that movie."

"Yea, it kicked some serious ass..."

"True that!"

"Not bad."

"The storyline was pretty weak..." They all stopped walking and looked at me reproachfully.

Sigh.

"I guess the scorpions were cool..."

"Atta' girl Rae-Rae."

"Do shut up."

* * *

Even with all the training sessions Robin puts up through, it's a miracle we not all much fatter; all we ever eat is pizza, waffles, badly made sandwiches and the occasional eggs and bacon. We must have amazing metabolisms.

We're lazy too, ever since we discovered that we get free delivery, we hardly even go to the pizza place much anymore.

"Anyone wanna play snakes and ladders?"

If only Slade could see us now.

"Sure."

"Oh yes! I very much enjoy the game of ladders and snakes!"

" Sorry guys, I've got to go get some work done." Robin shrugged, getting to his feet.

Starfire grabbed his wrist, "Oh, why must you? You were doing the work all this morning!"

"Sorry, Star, but there's a lot of it and I don't want to get behind."

As we watched Robin walk towards the door, Starfire stood up as well "Perhaps, I could be of assistance... it would take less time that way."

"You'd get bored, Star, don't worry about it, if I get started now, I'll probably be done by about eleven. Night guys, have fun."

We chorused our various 'good nights' as the door whooshed shut behind him and Starfire plopped back down beside Cyborg, looking dejected.

"Hey, don't worry about him Star, he's just a workaholic, we have more pressing matters." Beast Boy grinned in an effort to cheer up our resident alien and whipped out and old battered box from under the coffee table.

Starfire seemed to brighten a bit at the thought of watching a marble roll down a plastic snake and I was just about to sneak off into the shadow when-

"And now Raven, has to play!"

Aww...why does Raven always have to play?

"Er...no I don't, why?"

"Duh, Rae, you need four people to play snakes and ladders."

...

"No you don't."

"Yes you do."

"No you don't, I saw you and Cyborg playing it by yourselves the other day."

"Er...well that was just the...fake version..."

"You are the worst liar ever, you know that?"

"Come on you know you want to!"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

"No."

* * *

I won.

Not once, not twice, but three times! (let's just ignore the fact that I played three games of snakes and ladders shall we?)

And I didn't just win; I kicked their asses good and proper!

I am the snakes and ladders queen!

...

Oh dear, I think I must be sleep deprived...

An hour of, what Starfire would describe as frivolity later, I climbed into bed and was out as soon as my head touched the pillow...or you know maybe like five minutes later, but you get the point.

All too soon I was awoken to the familiar red flash of the alarm.

"Titans, Trouble!"

Ugh! Why did these people always have to have their problems at 4 in the morning?

* * *

A/N: Sorry, I know its short but on the plus side i have a plot now (mostly)! oh happy days!


	4. make sure you look in the gutter

Disclaimer: own nothing as always, not even a decent pair of stocking to keep myself warm, don't believe what you hear about Australia kiddies, IT IS FREEZING! (Not even winter yet! Grrr!)

So thanks again to all the awesomes you brighten my day, dearies.

Also you may have noticed that I enjoy the occasional use of their real names however I must inform you that I will just be referring to Robin as Richard as I simply cannot bring myself to call him Dick. It's not really an immaturity thing I just think in this day and age it would be a bit dodgy. Also I just know that BB and Cy would make all these dirty jokes about it and I'm really not that type of gal.

And thus the plot begins (I hope):

* * *

Cold. So very cold.

Leotards are not really practical in December, I accept that, but one would think a floor length cloak would provide more warmth.

And why am I freezing to death at 4:30 in the morning, in a dimly lit surveillance room, I hear you ask.

Simply because some noob decided to steal a ring.

Not some new type of death ray that had the power of all the suns in the universe.

Not the security codes to the prison which held some of the most dangerous criminals known to mankind.

Not some top secret government...thingy.

Just a plain, old (and rather ugly in my opinion) ring.

And on top of everything, my vocabulary has clearly gone to hell.

Fun.

"Please! You must find fiend responsible for tragic loss!"

Must we? That thing cost, what? $250 at the most.

"Um, sorry Mr Gleeson, we really would like to help but it's just..." Robin began, glancing at us for help.

"You've got no security footage of the crime."

"You waited three hours after you noticed the theft to inform us."

"They didn't leave any DNA behind."

"Are you calling me a liar?"

The fat store manager's arm jiggled as he pointed at himself. I don't believe that I was actually giving up sleep to watch fat shake.

"No, it's just that..." Robin paused to think briefly. "We don't really do stolen jewellery... We're more evil masterminds in spandex with machine guns."

Oh yeah, that's going on the business cards...

Any decent human being would have accepted this but not the fat jewellery store manager in the tacky Hawaiian shirt, oh nooo.

"Are you the Teen Titans or not?"

"Er...I guess."

"Sworn to protect the meek and innocent?"

"Yeah..."

When did we swear that?

"I'm meek and innocent! Find my ring!"

No.

_No_, right?

I looked over at Robin and was appalled to see guilt in his eyes.

Awww damn.

"Alright, sorry sir, we'll...uh...do our best."

"See that you do." And he flounced off down the hallway, every ounce of him jiggling as he went, leaving us with an embarrassed looking security guard.

"Sorry about this...I fell asleep..."

And I wondered how the prisoners broke out. Silly me.

"Um, don't worry about it...TITANS GO!"

If Robin had hoped that that would achieve the usual springing into action, then I'm sure he was disappointed. We all kinda just shuffled out into the hall and Beast Boy groaned something about not yelling in his ear and douche bag.

One of the downsides of being protected by teenaged superheroes; we don't operate well before 9am-ish.

After searching for and failing to find any clues in the building, Robin braced himself for the full force of our insomnia-induced fury and told us that it was time to go search the rest of the city.

"What?"

"No."

"Please do not make us!"

"Why?"

He sighed and led the way out onto the sidewalk. "Because we're the Teen Titans and we said we would."

"_You_ said we would. Don't drag us into this!"

"Oh, just shut up, I'm tired too! Let's just find the bloody thing so we can go home! Starfire and Cyborg, take the north, Raven and Beast Boy the East, I'll go west. Meet up again in an hour and if we haven't found it we'll just _buy_ this guy a new ring."

He was about to run off in his chosen direction when he saw that we were all still looking at him expectantly.

"What? Why aren't you moving?"

"Aren't you gonna say 'Titans Go'?"

"I already said it; you walked away and called me a douche bag, you don't get any more motivation." And off he scurried.

Quite the pep talk, I must say.

"Well that was...inspiring..." Beast Boy muttered to me as Starfire and Cyborg ambled off.

"Well that's what happens when you call him names; he gets angry, he's very sensitive you know." I started down the dingy alley the Robin had pointed out for us.

"You know," he said, catching up to me, "I can't even tell if you're being sarcastic anymore."

I'm losing my touch...

"...Neither can I actually, I'm too tired."

We walked on in silence until my communicator went off rather loudly, waking up a stray (and possibly rabid) cat that had been sleeping in a pile of garbage. I answered the ringing while Beast Boy started fending off the creature that had seemingly decided to take revenge against the strange people whole woke it up on this cold winter's morning. Fair enough.

"Yeah?"

"Just thought I should remind you to check the gutters, in case the thief dropped it."

...

"Aww thanks Richard. I'm so glad we've got you watching out for us, it means the world to me."

"Sorry, Robin out."

I mentally bashed my head against a wall as I looked over my shoulder to see Beast Boy trying to stuff the cat into a dumpster.

"What are you _doing_?"

"Don't freak out but I think it has rabies..."

Knew it.

"...And it wants to kill us."

Why is it always us? I bet Starfire and Cyborg didn't have to deal with murderous cats.

"You're _Beast _Boy. You can't handle a kitten?"

"Oh...right."

Now I was expecting him to just turn into a cat tell the thing to bugger off so we could be on our merry way. Instead however, he just let out a rather violent hiss (still in human form, mind you) and the poor little rabid thing went running for the high hills.

He turned around to face me, looking rather pleased with himself and caught the look of utter confusion on my face, "What?"

...

Meh, whatever works.

"...Nothing, never mind let's just go."

We started walking again.

"So what did Robin want?"

"Oh, just to tell us to make sure we searched the gutters."

"Fan-freakin-tastic."

My sentiments exactly.

* * *

Well, that was 2 hours of my life I'll never get back.

We searched everywhere, yes, even in the gutters. We found nothing. The guy yelled at us. Beast Boy tried to kick him in the shin. You know, just the usual.

I'm not usually one for 'cosy' but I must say going back to bed was the most enjoyable thing I'd done in a while.

That says two possible things about me.

1. I was VERY tired, cold and angry.

Or

2. I have a very lame life.

Well, it's sad to admit, both are true but let's just ignore the latter until I'm more equipped to deal with it.

I might have gotten one, maybe even two hours of sleep in before I heard a knock on my door.

Azar, I really do hate that noise; it's never followed by anything pleasant.

"Raven! Awaken!"

Why? No. Raven doesn't want to awaken. Be gone.

"Nyehhhh."

"Do you not recall? We have to be in Steel City tonight for the birthday party of Mas y Menos."

...

Birthday party?

Awww! Birthday party!

So let's get this straight; within 24 hours of the pink lacy dress incident, my movie was ruined by a wannabe bad guy, I had to search the gutters in the dark, was almost mauled by a rabid cat (what's life if you can't dramatise your problems?) and now I have to go to a _party_?

Super duper!

"Do I need to come in there and awaken you myself?"

_No! Say No!_

"Nyehhhh!"

Good work genius, that'll stop her.

"Very well then."

I groaned as light flooded my room through the suddenly open door. Why don't I have locks? Hell, why don't I have a moat? In fact, I should have booby traps set up.

"Come on, up and greet the morning." She grabbed my arms and pulled me into an upright position.

Too perky too early. I might have to kill her.

"Aren't you _tired_?" I managed to croak. Good grief, I sounded more like a man than usual!

"Not anymore, I regenerated in the sun's rays and now am ready for whatever the day throws at me!"

Yes, I will definitely have to kill her.

"Well, not all of us are solar powered, so if you'll excuse me." I tried to flop back down but instead of pillows and blankets, my back met with hard, extraterrestrial muscle.

Which, you know, is never really a good thing.

Without any warning, Starfire promptly picked me up and dropped me on the floor! The cold, hard...well, carpet, but still!

"Starfire! Ow!"

"Now you are awake!"

Death is coming to you, child. Just you wait...

She let me sit in my exhausted silence for a few minutes before patting me on the head, "I have laid out your clothes for you, please hurry, it is a long drive to Steel City and you may sleep in the car."

Oh, now there's an appealing prospect.

Starfire left the room, closing the door behind her. I probably would have just sat there all day had I not been freezing my butt off. To remedy this, I slowly dragged myself off the floor and groggily changed into the selected outfit. My eyesight had not fully returned to me so I just had to pray that none of the garments were shiny...or frilly. I pulled my hair up into a rather floppy excuse for a ponytail; in no mood to bother myself with grooming and sank through the floor; hoping to end up in the kitchen.

"Aargh! Raven! What the hell?"

Whoops, this is definitely _not_ the kitchen...

"Sorry! My bad! But at least my landing on you saves Star coming in here and manhandling you, Garfield..."

"That's not the point!" Beast Boy cried as I escaped his room of dirty socks and underwear.

* * *

Half an hour and one lukewarm cup of tea and a biscuit (see what I meant about our diet? Not good) later I found myself, as always, squashed in between Robin and Beast Boy. This time the reasoning was that seeing as both Starfire and Cyborg were rechargeable they could chatter away in the front while we mere mortals could try and sleep in the back. A good plan in theory. In practice...not so much.

"Er...Star, remind me again why we're taking Silkie..."

"Because last time we left him at home he was very sad and he is a part of this family; where we go he goes."

"But he ate my sunglasses..."

"We will get you new sunglasses Richard; that is the price of love."

That's the price of love? They were pretty cheap sunglasses...

"Hey ya'll let's have a sing-a-long!"

Oh kill me now...

"No! Cyborg we must be quiet! They are sleeping!"

"Er...no we're not..."

"Beast Boy is."

I looked to my right and saw that he was indeed. Well that would explain why he was so quiet. And why he was leaning on me and...

"He's drooling on me!"

Oh I just can't catch a break today!

"Shhh Raven, sleep now, drooling later."

Er...

"I know! Let's have a lullaby sing-a-long!"

"Perfect!"

And thus began the longest car ride in history...

* * *

A/N: So shall it just be an unwritten rule that I can't end chapters effectively?  
Alrighty then.

Please keep reviewing

Much love


	5. call me Garth

Disclaimer: I'm still broke...and i think i'm giving up on disclaimers...doesn't this whole site have a disclaimer? It should.

Ok once again thanks a bundle to all the reviewers etc. You make me very happy as always...its quite lame, I tell my friends about you.

But anyway, sorry about how long this took but I have much work and whatnot to get through and its harder to write when you're trying to use a plot

I swear this to you though my lovelies: this shall be finished, no matter how long it takes, even if we're all old and grey by the end of it, it shall be done!

_

* * *

_

"She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!"

_"When she comes!"_

_"She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!"_

_"When she comes!"_

_"She'll be coming round the mountain, coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!"_

_"WHEN SHE COMES!"_

"Verse two!"

"Yeah...er...do you know it?"

"Nup..."

"...verse one again?"

_"SHE'LL BE COMMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES!"_

Yeah, so Beast Boy woke up...

One would think I'd be in a severe amount of pain right now but I'm actually quite grateful; at least they'd stopped singing _The Climb._

Beast Boy and Cyborg had been singing badly and off key ever since Moron Number One, a nickname I cleverly constructed for Beast Boy, (Cyborg is Moron Number Two, for future reference) after the first 15 minutes of 'music' woke up about two hours ago, while Starfire, who didn't know the words, whistled some other completely unrelated tune that she thought might go nicely with the melody.

Despite how annoying this was, at that very moment, as they launched into the medley from _Wicked_, the only person who I was most annoyed at in that car was Robin...the tight wearing bastard stole my earplugs.

_"KISS ME GOOOODBYE, I'M DEFYYYYING GRAAAAVITY!"_

But then of course, there was the guy who was the reason I bought the earplugs in the first place.

_"AND YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOW_- OW! Raven hit me!"

"Raven, don't hit Beast Boy."

"He yelled in my ear!"

"Beast Boy, don't yell in Raven's ear."

"It wasn't yelling! It was inspirational!"

"Yes, it inspired me to hurt you."

Ooh, I'm rather witty today despite my insomnia.

"Yeah well-"

"WE'RE HERE YA'LL!"

Again with the yelling...would it _kill _these people to use their inside voices?

"Oh glorious! My legs much desire to stretch!"

Says the girl riding shotgun.

While I was contemplating how very uncomfortable I was; Beast Boy had just hit me in the head in an attempt to roll down the window, something occurred to me.

"Uh guys...did we remember the presents?"

The boys all froze, which was only a _tiny_ bit dangerous considering Cyborg was driving, and exchanged guilty 'we are so screwed' looks while Starfire smiled and shook her head at our foolishness.

"Oh course, Raven. I have not forgotten them."

There was an almighty chorus of, "Thank you, Starfire."

"You are most welcome. They are in the boot of Cyborg's baby."

"Alright, then. Titans, GO!"

Does he have to say that for everything we do?

Star, Cyborg and Robin the earplug stealer, scooted out of the car excitedly to retrieve their gifts for the Spanish twins.

There was a tug on my hair.

"Ow! Do you want me to hit you again?"

"W-well, I have a bit of a problem, Raven..."

"Is this problem preventing you from getting out of the car and going to the party?"

"Kind of..."

"...Did you wet yourself?"

"What? No!"

"Then, let go of my hair and come on."

"..."

"Or I'll hurt you."

Beast Boy's grip on my hair loosened and I stepped out of the car.

It was good to have fresh air. The car kind of smelt like man.

As I took my gift to Mas y Menos out of the back of the car, Beast Boy was staring over my shoulder at the present. Not that having a green fellow sneak up behind isn't creepy but I was used to it, so I just sighed.

"What?"

"It looks so good! What did you get them?"

"...Matching helicopter hat things."

...It seemed like a good idea at time...

Well, actually it was Starfire's idea at the time, but hey, I bought them.

"That's a great idea!"

"You lie."

"Ok, it's a bit weird..."

Humph.

_It is though..._

Silence, you!

"I never asked for your opinion, you know..."

I looked at Beast Boy with a raised eyebrow and noticed that he was empty handed. He replaced his goofy expression with a guilty one.

"Oops?"

"We are not sharing gifts!"

"Why not?"

"You just called said it was weird, you little green man!"

"Aww, Rae Rae," he pouted and commenced with 'the face' . "Pleeeeeaaaase?"

Must resist cuteness and retain emo-ness...

...

Damn.

"...I hate you very much."

"YES!"

"On the condition that we tell them that it was your idea but I paid for them."

"Dude! That makes me look like a tight-assed moron!"

"Are you not?"

"Hey, I bought you a really nice birthday present last year!"

"You got me a pink sweater with a cat on it...and you used the gift card _I_ gave _you_ for your birthday!"

"You have not proof of that."

"Do you want to share it or not?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Right well then, forward march and do as I say, you cretin!"

Did I just say that?

_Sadly._

"...You really are tired, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

* * *

"_-Happy Birthday, dear Mas and Menos; happy birthday to you!_"

"Hip Hip!"

"_Hooray_!"

"Hip Hip!"

"_Hooray_!"

"Hip Hip!"

"...Hooray?"

"Hip Hip!"

"Stop it."

"Sorry..."

"¡Yay! Gracias todos!"

So the wrappings and ribbons were torn.

The presents were opened.

The endless 'thank yous' and other Spanish sentences were said.

The enormous banana and carrot cheesecake with lime frosting was cut.

And devoured quickly by Moron Number One and Two. I fed my share to Silky. Banana and carrot? Not even if Beast Boy offered to turn into a puppy and dress in a yellow tutu.

Well...maybe.

Speaking of the green one...

"CAAAANDDYYYYY! AARRGHH!"

I watched Garfield yell as he charged at a 'Dora the Explorer' piñata, baseball bat in hand.

Blindfolded.

The tip of the bat just missed the top of Cyborg's head.

"Hey! Watch it, man!"

At least Beast Boy wasn't an octopus. Imagine him holding 8 baseba-

Oh great.

Who needs imagination when your friends have blind stupidity?

The green octopus waved its tentacles around, threatening to wipe out any one between 1 and 10 feet tall. Pity that was everyone.

Star's joyful screaming was _not_ helping. At all.

Hello, migraine. Welcome back.

_Sup?_

Nothing much. Just the usual embarrassing suffering I go through whenever I'm in public with Beast Boy.

_Nice..._

Stupid conscience.

A sharp blast from Robin's whistle (where he got a whistle, I have no idea) signalled the end of Beast Boy's mad reign of terror and forced him to give the bat to someone else.

"¡Mátelo! lo mata!"

"¡Trato! ¡Es más duro que mira!"

"¡Es mi va! falla!"

"¡Nunca! ¡Yo le lucharé a la muerte!"

I should probably have been more concerned but I've found that the boys' pointless arguments annoyed me less when I couldn't understand them.

Maybe I should send Garfield to Ukrainian classes.

_You can't afford Ukrainian anything. _

Shush.

I was just contemplating wether anyone would notice if I snuck back out to the car to sleep when, to my surprise, I heard a voice in my ear.

"Hey, Raven."

Well... Surprise might have been an understatement; I nearly fell off my stool.

"Aqualad?"

"Yeah, but you can call me Garth. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Garth?

No one with hair that shiny should be called Garth...

"Uh..."

"Feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"Ok..."

Looking back now, I realise that I might have been coming across a bit more...frosty than usual but at the time I was more concentrating on not collapsing with exhaustion.

"So, how have you been?"

"I'm wonderful! How are you? Are you wonderful?"

Oh dear.

You know when insomnia turns your brain into pulp and you lose all control of your mouth?

...Yeah.

"Er, yeah I guess."

"That's nice."

Good grief; I sound drunk.

_Oh well, you're too far gone now, deary._

"Right. So I was just kinda wondering if-"

I never found out what Aqualad was wondering, however, because at that very moment a sadly familiar green blur threw itself rather passionately onto the bench top between us, sending the chips and dips flying.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Beast Boy grinned, placing a hand on both of our shoulders. I could feel nervousness rolling off of him, which I put down to the fact that he must have sat on the cream cheese.

"Oh um... Hey, BB."

"Garfield, are you defective?"

The reaction I normally got from such a (fair and noble) question was usually either a whimper or a huff depending on whether or not he had had sugar in the past 4 hours, but this time, to my great horror he just patted me on the head and turned back to Aqualad.

Er...what? ...No...

"So, how's life been treating you Aquadude?"

"Not too bad...er, don't you wanna get back to the piñata?"

"Nah, I think I'll let the little birthday dudes have the honour."

That's a bit...un-Beast Boy like...

"That's very...cool of you, man. So, uh, why don't you go get yourself some...cake?"

"Not really hungry, I think I'll just hang out with you guys."

Ok, _now_ I was worried.

"Uh...Are you ok?" I asked, not entirely believing my ears.

"Yeah sure, never better! ...Why?"

"...But you're always hungry."

"Nah, _Cyborg's_ always hungry. I'm just...mostly hungry."

"Right..."

"Well, you should eat _something_. Here," Aqualad thrust a bag of chips into Beast Boy's arms more forcefully than necessary and turned back to me, "So Raven, I was thinking we could-"

"She can't!" Beast Boy blurted, throwing the snackage to the side and jumping down off the counter.

Er, what can't I do?

"Why?"

"She's busy."

I am?

"When?"

"Whenever! She's always busy!"

Since when?

"Look, I wasn't asking you!"

"Well, look, I'm answering you!"

Seriously still don't know what's going on...

"Well, isn't that just the come-back of the century!"

"Yeah, well...shut up!"

At this point I probably should have said something along the lines of, "Do not fight, brethren, for this is a gathering based on friendship and love. Come let us frolic around the mangled body of Dora the Explorer." But because my brain was too drunk to form such a long sentence, I just went with, "Er...what are we talking about, again?"

They both stopped what they were doing (it involved headlocks and biting) and gave me a look that told me they had forgotten I was there.

"Oh um...nothing..."

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

"Ok..."

"¡Aqualad! ¡Venga aquí y vea los pasteles Señorita Starfire hizo! ¡Mueven!"

We looked over to where Mas and Menos were jumping up and down on the couch, waving a plate of blue cupcakes over their heads.

It probably says something about me that I didn't find that odd.

"Well, I've gotta go," AquaGarth smiled at me. "I'll talk to you later."

And then he something quite peculiar; he picked up my hand and sort of held it in midair.

Not knowing how to respond to such a gesture, I assumed it was supposed to be a handshake and had gone terribly wrong, so I kind of latched onto of his hand and gave it a feeble little shake.

"Alright then...bye."

"Ok." He smiled again and walked over to the hyper twins, hair swishing behind him.

Still not entirely sure what had just happened, I made to return to my stool but as I turned around I found my way blocked. I raised my eyebrows at the strange combination of sadness, nervousness and a slightly creepily happy smile that Beast Boy presented me.

"...Yes?"

"Um, right. Well... Want some cake?"

"Banana, carrot, lime, cheese and cake should never me mixed. Ever."

"I thought it was zesty."

"..."

"Ok, well... Wanna play pin the tail on the donkey with us?"

"Not even if you paid me, and I'm pretty broke."

"What if I was the donkey?"

Er...what?

"Um...how is that anymore appealing?"

"I dunno...I've learnt normal tactics don't usually work with you."

"Ok..."

"So, is that a yes?"

"No."

"Well, is that a no?"

"Yes."

"Aww, Rae, you ruined it."

"We are not in _10 Things I Hate About You_. Now be gone."

"Fine, but you'll miss me."

"Every second."

"Well done, your sarcasm's recovered."

Yes, welcome back dear; go take a seat with migraine.

_Alrighty, it's good to be back._

I had a very clever comment planned but it seemed that the lure in sticking pins on a picture of a donkey's ass (hee hee ass's ass...hem) was too much for Beast Boy; he gave me one last look of disappointment before bouncing off to join Moron 2 and the other manish ones.

I only got to sit on my stool (to which I had become rather attached over our time together) for a few more minutes however, because before I knew it Bumblebee and Starfire grabbed me from behind and hauled me off to the corner to do my nails.

Woe to the republic.

* * *

Ok loose Spanish translations

"Kill it! Kill it!"

"I'm trying! It's harder than it looks!"

"It's my go! You fail!"

"Never! I shall fight you to the death!"

...And later...

"Aqualad! Come here and see the cupcakes Miss Starfire made! They move!"

Sorry to anyone who actually speaks Spanish, this was done on a dodgy online translator

Review pweeeeeease :)


	6. holy shizzle! you're on fire!

Hello my chums  
haven't got much to say but thanks again to all the reviewers/alerters/favouriters, i send u all vitual hugs.  
also incidently i was wondering, does anyone else play the one-word game or is it just us? (if u don't know what i'm talking about an example in located in the chapter)  
Another thing (last one) i dunno if u guys notice this but every time i post a chapter i screw it up and end up having to repost it. usually its cause i name it the wrong thing but this time i forgot to do the A/N and add in the lines (damn u lines! how you vex me!) anyway the point of this it that i'm an idiot so just ignore it :)

Now tally ho!

* * *

As I lay back in the purple sand, I was vaguely aware I was wearing a tutu. Oddly enough, it didn't seem to bother me too much; I was more concentrating on the ebb and flow of the ocean surrounding me on my little purple-y sandy island. I was just about to weigh up the pros and cons of singing the Scooby Doo theme song to keep myself warm, when out of the aforementioned sea popped my dear friend Garth, dressed in fluoro yellow spandex, sporting a picture of Edward Cullen round his neck.

Yellow wasn't really his colour but hey, who was I to judge?

"Hello Rae Rae, fancy a dip? The water's toasty."

"Not right now, AquaGarth, I am clearly inappropriately dressed."

"Right you are, sorry about that. Care for some cream cheese?"

"Ooh! Yes please. I do love cream cheese."

The next ten or so minutes consisted of the both of us eating from a jar of cream cheese he pulled from the depths of his unitard and staring up at the starry night sky.

"...and there you see Moron Number One and over there, Moron Number Two..."

"Wow, constellations are fun, Rae Rae!"

"That they are, Garth."

"Please, call me Gar."

"That seems a bit lazy; it's already quite a short name you know."

Before he had a chance to reply we felt a great rumbling beneath us and suddenly a giant green raven burst out of the ocean, cawing shrilly. It circled us for a few minutes before suddenly rearing around rather violently and making a dive for us. I screamed, covered my head with my hands and prayed for an umbrella. I looked up just in time to see the raven swallow Garth whole and then belch loudly. I fell back in shock, my tutu flying about in the breeze. Once I had recovered from seeing my brother-in-arms eaten by a bird and righted myself and struggled back into a sitting position.

As I fought with gravity the raven turned into Garfield who dusted his hands off, looking quite pleased with himself.

"That wasn't very nice," I told him as we started work on a sandcastle, "he had cream cheese."

"I don't care! He was trying to steal my name!"

The poor boy looked appalled as he strung seaweed all over our sandcastle as decoration.

"What, '_Gar'?_"

"Yes, 'Gar'! _I'm 'Gar'!_ He can bugger off!"

"Well, there's no need for language like that... but I do think you deserve it more seeing as your name _is_ longer."

"And I was here first you know. He can't just come and take it from me."

And with that he patted me on the head, gave me a ham sandwich and dived back into the sea, spraying me with purple-ness.

How bloody rude! He knows I hate ham!

I awoke that morning very disturbed.

I used to dream about the end of the world, now I dreamt about fluoro men and ham.

It may not be as scary but you have to admit it is much lamer.

* * *

Breakfast at Titans Tower is always either violent or a health hazard.

That morning it was both.

Let's just say it ended with a leg of ham becoming wedged in the security system.

"Now look what you did!"

"Me? _You_ threw it!"

"You weren't meant to dodge!"

"...Hehe, nice, man."

"Sorry.

My offers to remove said meat from the wall were denied on the grounds of it being 'delicate work for the light of hand'. Says the guy who's half metal and who chucked it there in the first place.

So with Robin handing Cyborg tools and Starfire watching Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi, Beast Boy apparently saw no other alternative but to come talk to me.

Oh, joy.

"So... How did you sleep?" he asked as we sat down at the kitchen table; me with a cup of tea, him with a tofu sandwich.

"Well, I'll leave you to decide. I had a really strange dream about you."

Damn it brain! Why can't you ever control mouth!

_Sorry, it's early and you haven't eaten yet._

Well, now he's looking at me weirdly!

"Y-you had a dream about...me?"

"You ate Garth."

"Who?"

"...Never mind."

"But wha-"

"No, shut up."

"But I-"

"Look! A distraction!"

"H-hey, Raven! Come back!"

* * *

**PINKPrincess says:** and

**Raven says:** so

**PINKPrincess says:** the

**Raven says: **cow

**PINKPrincess says:** danced

**Raven says:** alone

**PINKPrincess says:** raven!1!1 no! thats sad!1

**Raven says:** fine, sorry. with

**PINKPrincess says:** mr

**Raven says:** chicken

**PINKPrincess says:** FOREVER!1! YAY!1!

**Raven says:** woo

**PINKPrincess says:** see? thats how you play the one word game

**Raven says:** funsies

**PINKPrincess says:** now aren't you glad you got MSN?

**Raven says:** my cup runneth over with joy

**PINKPrincess says:** ...you're weird

**Raven says:** yeah, I know, don't grow up to be like me melvin. you'll be very confused all the time

**PINKPrincess says:** its ok, you're good weird.

**Raven says:** thanks Mel :)

**PINKPrincess says:** YAY!1 Your first smiley!

**Raven says:** I'm learning

**PINKPrincess says:** so whatcha doooin'?

**Raven says:** nm, hiding from Beast Boy... the usual

**PINKPrincess says:** aww why? i like him. he's funny.

**Raven says:** he is irritating and immature and he thinks i've lost my marbles

**PINKPrincess says:** have you?

**Raven says:** that is irrelevant

**PINKPrincess says:** so why does he think you're crazy?

**Raven says**: er...no reason...whats up with you?

**PINKPrincess says:** I'm...kinda...grounded

**Raven says:** why?

**PINKPrincess says:** timmy said my superhero costume was stupid so I called him a moron and kicked him in the shins

**Raven says:**...good grief you ARE like me

**PINKPrincess says:** yay!

**Raven says:** oh and Melvin, we call them uniforms not costumes. makes us sound less...silly

**PINKPrincess says:** oh...ok gotcha! :D

I sat back from my computer, worried about how I was poisoning the minds of next generation when I was suddenly bathed in red glow of the alarm. That either meant trouble or that the ham had become lodged deeper into the mainframe.

"Titans Trouble!"

**Raven says:** i g2g Mel, it's not the ham. i shall have to ttyl

**PINKPrincess says:** er...ok...bye.

* * *

"Ok Titans, we've got two offenders here. Cinderblock is loose downtown and there's a fire on East Avenue."

We were all assembled in the vicinity of the couch as Robin briefed us on the situation(s).

"Can't the fire department take care of that?"

Fair point. Well made.

"They're busy or something, I don't know. The point is we were contacted so it's our responsibility to go!" Beast Boy should know by now that Robin gets angry if you interrupt his leader speeches. "Ok, so Starfire, Beast Boy and I will handle Cinderblock-"

"So me and Raven got to handle some lame-ass fire? Nuh-uh!"

Again with the interrupting... There was a large vein popping on Robin's head and he glared at Cyborg and then at me.

Hey! Don't look at me like that. I wasn't the one who complained...

"Fine," said Robin delicately. "You come with us. Beast Boy can-"

Oh no, don't you dare, you tight-wearing bast...

"-go with Raven to put out the fire, ok? _Titans go!_"

Oh, for the love of spandex!

* * *

By the time we got to East Avenue, the building was engulfed with flames. People were standing around screaming, throwing the occasional frantic bucket of liquid (I say liquid, not water, because I'm pretty sure one guy was chucking beer) onto the flames.

"Holy shizzle! Look at that!" Beast Boy yelled to me over the crackling of the flames.

"Never say shizzle. Ever." I called back as I ripped a nearby fire hydrant out of the ground and guided the water onto the burning house.

He was about to retaliate (probably something about how very gangsta he was) when a women with ash covering her face and clothes ran up to us and pulled on his arm.

"Please!" she screamed hysterically, "my little girl's still in there! You have to go get Samantha!"

My stomach twisted as my head snapped back towards the house. As part of the roof collapsed something in my gut told me that Samantha's odds weren't too good.

"Don't worry ma'am," Beast Boy said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I'll get her."

Whoa whoa! Hold up.

"Don't you think I should go?" I muttered as he stared towards the house, "I mean, I could just ghost through it and-"

"No, you'll be able to put the fire about better than me, check to see if there's a pool or something."

"But-"

"Raven, just stay here!" and without another word a little green mouse darted off into the fire.

...

Right, ok well... Good Lord! I needed water!

Making sure the stream from the fire hydrant continued to flow onto the house, I shot up into the sky to check the surrounding area for any body of water. Bingo! (Did I just say bingo?) The house did indeed have a pool. I considered just dumping the entire contents of it onto the fire but I quickly realised that whatever remained of the framework of the house would just collapse under the weight. Carefully, I raised a giant glob of water above the flames and began to gently drizzle the body of water to fall down like rain. When the first lot had been emptied onto the house I lifted the next one that then the next. It was painstakingly slow work but at least it was effective; every ball of water left less and less flames in its wake. There you go Raven, slow and steady wins the race.

Speaking of slow, Garfield was taking his bloody time about things.

...

Worried is a strong word...I prefer politely concerned.

Nibbling my lip, I concentrated on my work, fighting the urge to check the ground for the familiar smudge of green and purple every ten seconds.

The pool was nearly empty, the flames were nearly gone and my lip was nearly bleeding when Beast Boy finally emerged from the house carrying something pink and wriggling. It was either Samantha or he'd found a rather large marshmallow. He'd better share.

Is it sad that that is actually how my mind works?

_Very much so._

I finished with the water a few minutes later and once I was sure that every flame had been crushed (oh dear, that came across a bit vindictive). I floated back down the ground and ran around to the front of the house to see that Beast Boy had retrieved the little girl (no marshmallow in sight) and was currently having the life squeezed out of him by the very affectionate mother.

"Oh, thank you! _Thank you _so much! I don't know what we would have done if it wasn't for you! And you!" she squealed as she caught sight of me, her long arm grabbing me and pulling into the hug of death.

"Ok, Lily, you can let them go now," said a deeper voice from behind me, whom is assumed was her husband. "I think you're crushing them."

"Oh, right, sorry." The woman, Lily, let us go and I staggered back, glad to free of Beast Boy's armpit. "But thank you so much."

"No problem," Beast Boy grinned "It's our job."

"Thank you," Samantha the marshmallow piped shyly from her father's arms, patting Beast Boy on the head.

Awww, that might have been classified as sweet if I wasn't a woman of business. Which I am.

"So, do you have any idea of what started the fire?" I asked as Samantha tugged on Beast Boy's ear. Sucks to be him.

"No, I have no idea! We were just sitting around and suddenly I could smell smoke and the fire alarms were going off and-" Lily sighed as she look up at what used to be her house. "I-I just don't know."

"Well, don't worry about it. I'm sure the fire department will be able to sort it all out," Beast Boy smiled as our communicators buzzed. Opening them, we found a message from Robin telling us that Cyborg had decided to celebrate their victory over Cinderblock with pizza and mustard covered ice cream.

Yum yum.

"Sorry, we've gotta go, official Titans stuff," it was indeed, "It was nice meeting you."

"Goodbye! Thanks again!"

We waved them fare-thee-well and made our way the down the street, towards our pizzeria. Yup, _our_ pizzeria. We were the only customers as of 6 months ago, when it was a little girl's birthday party and Beast Boy accidently ate all of her cake meanwhile the rest of us scared the rest of the other customers off.

"So... I was pretty amazing, eh?" Beast Boy nudged me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Nobody likes arrogance Garfield."

"I... Sorry."

"But, yes, in short, you did very well."

I felt the mood was right to actually return his grin and that's when I saw the long red mark that ran the length of his entire arm.

"Holy shizzle! Are you ok?"

"I thought we weren't allowed to say shizzle."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures! Let me see!" I made a grab for the offending limb but he jerked it out of my grasp.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine."

"You were on fire!"

"Let the past stay in the past, dear Rae Rae."

"Don't be stupid, I can heal it." I am constantly confounded by this boy's moronic tendencies. I lifted up his arm with one hand and wrapped his burn with silvery blue light with the other. When I was done there was barely a mark left.

Oh yeah, Raven=1; Burn=0.

Hem hem...

"There," I said stepping back to survey my work, "was that so terrible?"

He rubbed his arm appreciatively and grinned at me again, "Thanks Raven."

I was considering just shrugging and walking on but he was finally learning his manners, I thought it best to encourage him, "You're welcome."

I turned back in the direction of the pizza place when something shiny at the bottom of the East Avenue street sign caught my eye. I bent down to inspect and to my surprise I found a rather gaudy diamond ring. Straightening up I saw Beast Boy watching me curiously.

"Look at this."

"For me? Darling, you shouldn't have!"

"Focus, genius. Doesn't this look familiar to you?"

"Er...maybe, I dunno. Is it meant to?"

I turned the ring over between my fingers, studying it closely. "It looks just like the picture that douche baggy jewellery store guy showed us of the ring that was stolen."

"Oh!...er... Yeah, I see it now!"

"You don't remember it at all do you?"

"Not really, no. Can you blame me? It was, like, 4 in the morning!"

I groaned and dropped the ring into my pocket (you wouldn't think I had pockets on that outfit would you? But I do! Haha, my secret pockets own all!), as we started to walk again.

"Come on, let's just go show Robin."


	7. revelations and lip shimmer

Hello there dearies  
as always a huge thank you (or danke as the Germans say –if ur German and I'm wrong just ignore me-) to everyone who reviewed/alerted/faved (shall we just call you respondents from now on? I think so) you are all fine young (or old) men and women (or both if you so chose, I would love you anyway)

* * *

"Er, ok... So...that's one large pizza with everything expect for one, er, fifth was it? One fifth with no meat and one fifth with...mustard?"

The poor waitress was looking very confused; must be her first day. Poor, poor girl.

"That is correct, dear, carry on."

"Right, and two sodas and three milkshakes; two strawberry and one chocolate and an ice-cream cake with a side of...more mustard...?"

You wouldn't think we'd be able to eat all that. You would be mistaken.

"Yep."

"Riiight... And would you like anything else with that?"

"Nup, we're good. And hey, don't worry about it. Just tell them the Titans are here, they'll know what to do."

"Um, ok..." and with a drop of her clipboard she scurried back inside, shooting us nervous glances all the way.

We were sitting at our favourite table at the old faithful pizza place, swapping stories of our latest...um, adventures? ...Sure let's call them that. I was glad we hadn't decided to order in again; I was tired of finding empty pizza boxes in strange places (places like my _underwear _drawer! I know _I certainly _didn't put it there...)

"-And then the McDonalds sign smashed into the KFC sign and the whole thing exploded like you wouldn't believe! There was fire falling from the freakin' sky!"

...That might make an interesting commercial actually.

"Yeah, well, I was-"

"Oh yeah, we found this near the house," I cut across Beast Boy, not really interested in hearing him re-enact his daring rescue attempt for the fourth time that hour. I pulled out the ring (from my secret pocket) and slid it across the table to Robin. "Isn't it like the one that was stolen?"

He held the ugly little ring up to his eye (or mask, whatever) and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of the depths of his cape. It was the picture the jewellery store guy gave us!

"Dude!" Beast Boy stared at Robin incredulously, "you kept that?"

"Sure, I keep everything from our missions."

"What do you do with it all? Scrapbook it?"

Robin's words said 'no' but his eyes said 'yes'.

"But why do you have it on your person?"

"I-never you mind." ...Ok... "You're right Raven, it is the same ring!"

At Robin's words, Cyborg burst out laughing, thumping the table with his fist (a rather dangerous practice for someone with such a large hand). He stopped long enough to look at Beast Boy and I to say "You found it! You actually found it!"

"Oh, congratulations, friends! Now that mean fat man shall have to consume his words! Not that he really had any right to call us ninnies in the first place!" Starfire clapped, giggling.

That's right; _no one_ calls the Teen Titans lukewarm names and gets away with it.

"Yeah! The douche shall pay!" Beast boy cheered, slinging an arm around Cyborg's and my shoulders, "But it's pretty weird don't you think, I mean, how we found the thing from our last mission at our next one?"

I think the following responses say something about our minds:

**Name:** Raven

**Age: **17 years

**Response:** "Yeah I guess." (Acknowledges that Moron 1 has made a fair point and thus agrees)

**Verdict:** A reasonable girl.

**Name:** Cyborg

**Age:** 19 years

**Response:** "A bit, yeah..." (Similar to above, though the constant glances back at the kitchen suggest the he is more concerned with his next meal than this quirky little plot twist)

**Verdict:** A reasonable guy who is hungry.

**Name:** Starfire

**Age:** 18 years

**Response:** (non-verbal) A vague nod while she watches the butterfly that just landed on the table. (Assumes it is merely a coincidence and would rather look at the pretty thing before her)

**Verdict:** A sweet girl who is not entirely switched on right now.

**Name: **Robin

**Age: **17 years

**Response: **"Hmm...it is a bit, suspicious... You don't think it was intentional? I bet someone's instigating this! We'd better be on our guard!" (Immediately jumps the worst, most extreme conclusion)

**Verdict: **A crazy little boy who is secretly in desperate need for another villain who is up to Slade's standard.

We all gave Robin the 'Holy Silky! He's gone loco again!' look. You know the look; it involves a lot of eyeball bulging and vigorous eyebrow movement.

"Uh..."

"Robin, I..."

"Dude, no."

"Richard," Starfire said gently, placing a hand on his arm, "I do not believe this is anything to worry about. Perhaps it is merely a coincidence, and you did not get much sleep last night, what with all the papers and the files. You most likely simply just have the bad guys, what is the expression? On the brain?"

"Ok, ok, guys," He held his hand up in defeat, chuckling. "I was just saying, calm down."

We collectively let out the breaths we had been holding.

"Oh good." Starfire said, smiling and went back to her butterfly. I quickly glanced at Cyborg and Beast Boy to see if they had been thinking along the same lines that I had been.

Oh Lord, for a moment I thought that Robin was going through another Slade-phase. And let me tell you now, that was not fun.

Whatsoever.

It hurt us to see Robin paranoid and crazy. Especially Starfire, who was now watching her butterfly with some kind of sadness in her eyes. You know, for an alien, green guy, boy in tights, half metal bloke and...whatever the hell I am, we were pretty much a family and we'd all sworn a sort of non-verbal oath to kick the asses of anything that tried to hurt any of us.

I was jerked from my little reverie by the waitress's wobbly return. The poor girl had evidently, probably in an attempt to impress her new boss, tried to balance our whole order on her various limbs. I admired her high work ethic so I thought it best not to mention that her hair was dangling in the ice-cream cake.

We'd just have to scrape that bit off before Beast Boy ate it...

To our great amazement she made it to our table without spilling a single drop of mustard and placed our order down in front of us with a look of triumph on her face.

"One large Titans pizza, two sodas, two strawberry milkshakes, one chocolate milkshake and an ice-cream cake with a side of mustard" she said proudly, no so much confirming our order as stating all the things her tiny little arms (and head) had carried.

"...Well done." Beast Boy said his eyes shifting from the mountain of food to her (not so) flimsy arms and back again.

To my utter disgust, she turned scarlet and _giggled_.

Oh fantastic.

There are many breedss of fangirl out there; Orlando Bloom ones, Ouran High School Host Club ones, even Control Freak ones (no, seriously they exist, I've _seen_ them), but by far the most irritating form are the Beast Boy ones. People who worship someone so..._Garfield_, must have been born with more than few screws loose in my professional opinion. Not to mention how their very presence inflated his head size tenfold.

Yup, there he goes now, doing what he believes to be his 'sexy grin'.

Cyborg and I have come to the mutual agreement that it looks more like he was whacked in the back of the head with a mallet.

And then kicked.

Repeatedly.

"So, what's _your_ name, cutie-pie?"

Oh, for the love of God... Did he just...?

*giggle* "Lucy" *giggle giggle*

_It's like having knives shoved in your ears..._

"That's a nice name; would you like an autograph, Lucy?"

You can't be serious...he's not really that crap is he?

*giggle giggle blush giggle* "Oooh yes please!"

*scribble scribble on a napkin* "

_Yes, yes he is..._

Bloody hell.

'Lucy' squeaked an excited thank you and scampered back inside, stumbling slightly.

I can't believe I nearly admired her hidden arm strength.

When she was gone Robin and Cyborg started snickering and I fixed Beast Boy with a particularly disbelieving look.

"What?" He asked, goofy grin still intact.

"You truly are an obnoxious little boy aren't you Garfield?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

The smile slid from his face for all of a second before it was replaced with a shrewd smirk.

"Sure you aren't just jealous, Raven?"

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the biggest laugher in the world but that really got me. Cyborg and I shared a glance of pure incredulity before bursting into fits of uncontrollable laughter. I don't normally burst into anything but come on, how could you _not_ laugh at that?

"Sorry," I said, when I had managed to calm myself down to quiet giggling, "but I think you must have _jealous_ confused with _nauseous_."

"Raven..." You know how people say that thing about a blind man seeing light for the first time? Well that's now Beast Boy was looking at me.

"...What?"

"You just laughed..."

"Yes..."

"Really crazily..."

"Gee, thanks."

"At something I said!"

I guess some people are just too conceited to be insulted.

"At _you_. Cause you're an idiot..."

He seemed to be weighing his options and finally decided, "Still counts."

I couldn't help but let out a snort at his logic which earned me another huge smile.

"Yes?"

"King of the Idiots."

"I love you too Rae Rae."

* * *

It is the belief of many people in this fine city that we spend each and every one of our every waking minute focussing on their ultimate safety and ridding the world of evil.

Oh how I wished that were true.

If it was, I feel the odds of me having a mustard-high redhead painting my toenails would be much lower. As things were I was surrounded by Starfire's many stuffed animals (most presents from Robin; some handmade by Beast Boy...he's not a bad sewer actually) reading out the 'Which Celeb Hottie Would YOU Date?' quiz as she applied my second coat of 'turquoise sparkle'.

"Ok last question; where is your dream location for a date?"

"Ooh! The fifth moon of Trollax IV! The flangoons are lovely this time of year!"

"Er...the options are the beach, the movies or a fancy restaurant..."

"Oh...the restaurant please."

"Congratulations, Starfire the 'celeb hottie you would date' is...Robert Pattinson."

"Oh dear..."

"Hehe... you got Spunk Ransome."

"You shall never speak of this again or I shall tell Beast Boy you got the Justin Beiber."

"You wouldn't..."

"I might, it depends on how much you irk me."

Scary girl.

My toes had just dried when we heard a knock on the door. Starfire bounded up to open it, sending the evil magazine of lies flying. I was just wondering if I should have put up a stronger fight against her efforts to put my hair into ringlets when the door opened to reveal a man with very silky hair and a very shiny unitard.

The return of AquaGarth!

Followed by Beast Boy.

And I was wearing lip shimmer. _Shimmer,_ I tell you!

"Hey Raven, Starfire." Aqualad smiled at me, not even looking at Star which I thought was a bit rude considering she was standing right in front of him.

"Oh...hello."

_Yes, that did _wonders_ for the situation Rae Rae, well done._

Shuddup, you.

"Greetings friend! What brings you hear so unexpectedly?"

Yeah! That's what I wanna know! Why couldn't you have come when I didn't look like a bratz doll?

"Oh, I was in town and Bumble Bee wanted me to drop off our annual report for Robin so I thought I'd just drop in and give you guys our Christmas presents early." And he did this twinkly smile at me as I tried to wipe off the shimmer as discreetly as possible.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Starfire beamed but again he just looked right past her.

I thought that if I gave him a little nod he'd stop _staring_ at me so I did but he just kept going.

I knew I looked like an idiot but come on! There was no need to be cruel!

"Right well, he just wanted to, uh, check in on you two but, you're busy and I'm sure you're tired from your trip Aquadude, so let me show you to your room...NOW!"

Saved by the Beast Boy.

Just as I thought he was never going stop smiling at me and I was going to be locked in his awkward trance forever, Garfield grabbed him by the arm and flung him, a little harder than necessary out into the hall. Before he shut the door behind him he turned back to me and mouthed 'nice hair' twirling his own around his finger.

I recovered from the awkward trace just in time to fling Starfire's stuffed panda at his retreating face.

I heard his laugh out in the corridor, too pissed to care that it sounded a little forced.

What douchbags!

Starfire picked her panda up off the floor, stroking its wounds and gave me a reproachful look before beaming rather scarily and bounding back to the bed.

"Did you _see_ that?"

"I know! It's not my fault I look like a drag queen! He didn't have to stare at me like that, and Beast Boy is just-"

"Raven...he was not staring at you because you look like a transvestite."

It's pretty sad that I took that as a compliment, isn't it?

_Quite._

"Wasn't he...?"

"He was staring at you because you are beautiful."

...

...

...

I know, right?

And she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world too.

"Er...Star have you been dipping skittles in your mustard again, cause you know that's really not good for you..."

Starfire was staring at me in total shock, "Do you truly not know?"

"Know what?"

"X'Hal Raven I knew you were modest but I had no idea you were so...utterly oblivious."

"Starfire, what are you talking about?"

"Aqualad has the feelings for you."

...

...

...

...

...

...

Meh?

What the hell was she- oh...

"Oh, I get it! You're joking...! Yes, yes very funny, well done Star, you almost got me, I-"

"Raven, I do not jest."

"Sure sure, Starfire."

"Truly, everybody knows...it is really quite obvious."

And she looked like she honestly meant it.

Which could only mean one thing.

Someone had drugged my poor innocent little Starfire!

"Star...when we were out, were you watching your drink at all times?"

"Raven, I am not on the drugs! Why is this so hard for to believe?"

Because it was impossible.

Absolutely impossible.

When pigs fly impossible.

When Hermione ends up with Snape impossible!

"Uh...cause I'm _me_. Have you even met me? I'm _Raven_, you know creepy, grey skin, croaky voice, cripplingly antisocial, relatives in interdimensional hell! Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Do not be silly, you're quite lovely."

Lovely?

I am a lot of things but _lovely_?

"Star..."

"Many boys like you actually," She said shuffling to sit next to me amongst the plushies, "For a while a few years ago I was rather convinced that Robin did, I was quite sad, you may remember I did not speak to you for a week."

...

Robin?

ROBIN?

As in RICHARD GRAYSON?

As in the tight-wearing bastard?

As in the boy who has been like a BROTHER to me? (twin even, when we're both being particularly angsty)

"And you're calling _me_ oblivious?" I gaped, resisting the urge to smack her pretty little head to make sure everything was working properly, "Why the hell would Robin like _me_? He's been practically in love with you ever since you stopped trying to kill us! I thought you were angry at me cause I accidentally stepped on Silky!"

"You trod on my baby?"

"Focus woman!"

"Ah, where was I?"

"Being wrong!"

She smiled at the exasperated look on my face and gave my head a little pat, "You should be pleased Raven, Aqualad is rather good-looking although I am not sure he is really your type."

How does _she_ know my type?

_I _don't even know my type!

The crazy girl in question glanced at the clock on her bedside table, "Oh I must be going," she said, "Richard and I are going to see the Kick Ass movie"

Oh sure, mess up my brain, confuse the hell out of me then leave to got snog your boyfriend in the back row of the cinema!

_How much snogging do really think they're going to get in watching _Kick Ass_?_

That is totally irrelevant.

She got up, dropped Silky in my lap (for company I guess), patted my head again and made for the door. She was just about to leave when she turned back and gave me the kind of smile you give a little kid who just can't tie their shoelace.

"Why else do you think Beast Boy gets so angry with him? They used to be very good friends you know"

And she just left.

...

Beast Boy? What the bloody hell does THAT mean?

_Beats me..._

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry to all the Rpatz and Bieber fans out there. I do admire your dedication and your sheer crazyness.

-btw I count myself among the Ouran High School Host Club fangirls (and sadly the Orlando Blooms ones as well... as I have explained to my friends, it wasn't a conscious decision, I think I was just born this way...)


	8. boys are stupid

A/N: at the end. Please read my pitiful aplolgy.

* * *

Being around Beastboy and Starfire at Christmas time is like being stuffed into one of those tacky festive snow globes and being shaken repeatedly: you get Styrofoam snow in your hair and it gives you a bit of a headache.

"_DECK THE HALLS WITH BOWS OF HOLLY!"_

"_FALALALALALALALALA!"_

"_TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!_

"_FALALALALA..._wait, Beastboy, forgive me but how many 'la's' are there again?"

"...I dunno just keep going till I come in again."

"Very well. _LALALALALALALALALA!"_

And by a bit of a headache I mean a splitting migraine that will stay with you for days.

It was only a week before Christmas and, thanks to our team's two most sugar-high members, the entire tower was covered inside and out with lights and various tinsel-related items. If either of them had any more energy, there would be fire coming out of their...well you get the idea. Said dynamic duo were busy loading our poor ancient Christmas tree with enough decorations to make it sag a little to the right in a rather pathetic, if not slightly endearing way while Cyborg was down in the garage making some new adjustments to the T-ship and Robin sat at the kitchen table, barely visible behind mounds of reports and other unpleasant paperwork. Though Starfire argued that "this is the season of joy not the season of...ick!" I thought we should just be thankful that he had moved his little office out of his room. That boy does not get enough sunlight. That coming from me.

And then there was me.

(Oh and Aqualad was lurking somewhere in the tower too. Don't know where though, I hadn't seen him all day.)

"Hey Raven?"

"No." I looked up at Beastboy from my place on the couch, resisting the urge to smack the Santa hat off his head.

"Come on," he whined, "you don't even know what I was going to ask."

"It's called an educated guess, Garfield."

"But-"

"No."

"What if-"

"No."

He slumped down next to me in what I hoped was defeat.

"...Whyyy?"

No such luck.

"Because, and now listen very carefully; I-do-not-want to!"

...

"But why?"

"ARGH!"

"Ow! Robin, Raven hit me!"

That little snitch!

"Guys!" Robin groaned "Shut _up_, I'm trying to work."

"Well, _someone _hasn't had their coffee this morning." Beastboy grumbled.

"_Beastb-"_

"WHAT THE FUDGECAKES DID YA'LL DO TO MY CAR!"

And cue another pissed off boy.

Life is full of wonderful little surprises is it not?

Just as I thought Robin was going to throw a shoe at Garfield (fair enough, I've always wanted to do that...maybe this afternoon), the common door burst open to reveal Cyborg, one hand balled into a fist of fury and the other wringing the living daylights out of a string of tinsel. He didn't even notice Robin storming out past him, muttering something that sounded a little like _'I should freaking sell you all to the gypsies!'_

No...that couldn't have been it...

"I was just decorating!" Beastboy threw his hands up in exasperation.

Starfire leaned over to me and whispered, "I believe I should go after Robin, if we leave him to his own devices when he is in such a mood he is mostly likely going to spend the next hour or so kicking furniture."

Ahh, maturity doth reign supreme in this house.

"And what? Just leave me here with dumb and dumber?" I muttered, "I don't think so."

"Thank you Raven, I knew you would understand!"

Um...what? No.

"But-"

However no one listens to poor old Raven so she hurried out of the room while Cyborg yelled a stream of profanities that I, as a good... well decent, little girl am not at liberty to repeat.

When she had gone I turned my attention back to my dear moronic ones.

Ugh

Why do I always end up being these two's babysitter?

_Because like it or not there is a trio taking shape here and you are part of it._

Well, how the frik did that happen?

_...I dunno._

"Alright," I sighed "what's going on _now_?"

"HE PUT GLITTER IN MY BABY!"

"YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DO!"

"Uh guys..." I tried.

"I'D APPRECIATE YOU SHUTTING UP!"

"Hello...?"

"YOU THINK EVERYTHING I DO IS STUPID!"

"OH, YEAH? WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT?"

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT!"

"STOP BEING SUCH A GIRL!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A DOUCHBAG!"

It's like talking to a lamp.

_A really stupid lamp._

There was nothing separating the boys now except the couch so I took the only logical course of action. I climbed up on the couch and banged their heads together.

"Aah! Raven!"

"That hurt! His head's made of metal! It's not fair!"

"Yeah? Well at least my heads not made of ass!"

What a yummy mental image.

"Ok, two things," I called over their arguing, this time actually securing their attention (I know, let the choirs sing). "Firstly...Cyborg, that didn't make sense and it was kinda gross, you are hereby forbidden to ever say that again. And secondly, you—" I pointed at Cyborg "—don't be a douchbag, and you—" I pointed at Beastboy "—don't put glitter in other people's cars...actually you know what? Just stay away from glitter altogether, it'll be better for everyone."

They looked at me and then at each other and shrugged.

"Now apologise."

I didn't know why I cared so much about their little squabble. I guess I was just bored.

_Triiiiiiooo._

Go piss someone else off why don't you?

_Um...I can't...I'm_ your _subconscious._

...Try harder.

"...Sorry dude."

"...Sorry man."

Ahh peace.

They then initiated what I can only describe as an awkward, sideways man-hug.

Ahh...bromance?

"Right, now shut up." And I sat back down, pulling out a book from the depths of the couch (there could be a really bad reality TV show about what could be found in that couch. Steve Irwin would have hosted it. God rest his soul), praying that now that he had his BFFL back, Beastboy would leave me alone.

Probably not.

"Raaaven?"

Ah, I know him so well.

"Ugh, fine! What?" I looked up to see that our resident Christmas elf (see it's funny cause he's got pointy ears and he likes Christmas and... _Shut up you're embarrassing yourself_) had already put Cyborg to work stringing tinsel along every visible surface.

"You wanna make a gingerbread house?"

"Not really."

"You wanna put out the reindeer?"

We have a giant, glowing, mechanical reindeer we put on our roof every Christmas.

It terrifies me.

"No!"

"BB, she's scared of that thing."

"Oh yeah, sorry Rae. I forgot."

"I am not!...Shut up!...It freaking watches me!...Shut up!"

"Alright," Beastboy heaved a theatrical sigh, "because I am such an awesome, awesome friend and because you are so very dear to me..."

Oh dear.

"I will let you put the star on the tree... I know, I know, there's no need to thank me."

He shot me a dazzling smile.

"Beastboy-"

"Just do it," Cyborg called as he lassoed some tinsel around the cupboard in a way I can only describe as professional. "He'll probably cry if you don't."

...Probably.

"No I wouldn't!"

"Yes you would," I grumbled pulling myself off the couch.

I picked up the star from its specially allocated spot on the coffee table, flew up to the top of the tree and secured it in place.

"There. Happy?"

Beastboy was scrutinising my work with folded arms. "It's a little wonky."

The nerve! I didn't even want to do this in the first place!

"That's not my fault; the thing's practically made of duct tape!"

"Yeah, because people put it on wonky and it keeps falling off!"

"Well then, why don't you do it!"

"Because I'm trying to get you to have fun!"

...Oh?

I was saved from whatever bound-to-be-awkward thing I was about to say but the swishing of doors and indeed the swishing of hair.

Aqualad had entered the scene.

"Hey guys. Hey there, _Raven_."

Although in the long run this is probably going to be more awkward...

_Run now. Run fast._

Shush, no. Starfire is completely wrong about this. Completely.

"Raven, did you put the star on? It looks _fantastic_!"

...

Oh crap.

"Oh...um, yeah thanks..."

"Yeah! Yeah! It looks awesome! Really, really...good! And awesome!" Beastboy yelled suddenly causing the three other occupants of the room to stare at him; me in confusion, Aqualad in incredulity and Cyborg in that really unflattering way when you're trying to not to laugh. You know the look, the one that makes your neck look really fat.

"I thought you said it was wonky." I said, raising my eyebrow in the way that only I can.

"Uh...who said wonky was a bad thing? I know I didn't...b-because that would be wrong..."

"...Ah?"

*awkward silence*

Well this situation is _extremely_ unpleasant.

_Told you to run but noooo._

Shut up, I'll deal with you later.

On the plus side thought, neither Beastboy nor Aqualad were looking at me, instead they were glaring at each other, muttering things like "So how are you?". I took this opportunity to shoot Cyborg a look that I hoped said "_What the hell is going on and why is it so mind-blowingly awkward? Also why am I still hovering near the ceiling like the awkward balloon itself?"_

Cyborg was saved from having to telepathically answer any of these questions by the familiar honking of the alarm system.

THANK YOU SWEET MURCIFUL FATE!

"TITANS TROUBLE!" Robin called as he dashed into the room with Starfire on his heels.

"Thank God!"

"Er...what?"

"...Never mind."

* * *

If I learnt anything that day it was that you cannot comfortably fit six people into the T-car.

Especially when three of the people in the back are rather well-muscled (note to self: never tell Beastboy that. He's already _far_ too up himself than what's healthy) teenage boys.

And you are the fourth.

"This is...not working."

"What are you talking about Raven? Everything is fine." Starfire said, turning around in the passenger's seat. Ever since our road trip to Steel City she hadn't let anyone sit shotgun but herself.

"That's easy for you say; your face isn't in Beastboy's armpit!"

"Sorry Rae, but I seriously can't move."

"Can't you transform into a bug or something?" I groaned, trying to reposition myself

"Oh! No, please none of the bugs!"

She can fight psychotic super villains without a blink of an eye but Azar help us all if there's a spider in her room.

I mean, come on, Silkie's practically a bug.

"Yeah, I'm with Star, no bugs in the T-Car."

Add that to the list of other random things we're not allowed to take in there.

Soy sauce and pillows are also forbidden.

I don't know why not pillows. I've asked many times.

"Alright fine, let me suffocate, no one cares!"

"I care Raven."

"That's nice Garth."

"Guys, seriously can I brief you on the mission now?" Robin asked irritably from the other side of Aqualad.

"That's probably a good idea."

We'd been doing this for four years now and we still had conversations like this.

"Alright team listen up-"

"Dude we just said we were listening..."

"Beastboy shut _up_!"

"Sorry."

"Ok, so we've got a code 765 down on Fifth and Crescent."

...So lately Robin had been trying to get us to speak in code.

"Dude...what the _hell _did you just say?"

It wasn't working out so well.

"...Mumbo's loose in the museum...didn't any of you read my notes?"

Well...funny story...

"...There were notes?"

Heh heh...

"We had a meeting about this you guys!"

During which Beastboy and I played 46 straight games of tic tac toe under the desk.

I totally kicked his ass.

"Sorry Robin." We all chorused in unison.

"I have the notes Bumblebee gave me, do you wanna see Raven?"

"Er..."

"Get those away from her!"

"Ok ok, BB, calm the farm!"

"No, _you _can go calm _your _farm!"

"Alright...jeez, settle the kettle."

Worst car ride ever.

* * *

"Greetings Titans! I, the amazing Mumbo-"

"Dude, we know who you are..."

"Excuse me, do you mind? I'm trying to do my intro here."

The six of us stood in the rubble-strewn floor of the museum gazing up at the blue wannabe magician who was currently perched upon a model plane that hung from the ceiling.

Well, five of us stared, Beastboy kinda made small talk with him.

"Sorry, just saying you don't have to waste your breath."

"Oh never mind!" Mumbo cried in exasperation, "Just...Hocus Pocus!"

He waved his wand at the suit of armour next to Starfire, which jumped down from its pedestal and made a grab for her while the tyrannosaurus rex skeleton leapt to life. It roared at Robin and swiped at Cyborg with its tail. Mumbo waved his wand again and the giant chandelier above our heads exploded, raining down shards of glass. Then her chuckled with a certain merry insanity and clicked his fingers, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Don't worry guys, I can totally handle this!" yelled Beast Boy before turning into a pterodactyl and zooming towards the other dinosaur.

"A distant relative, eh, Beast Boy?"

Aqua chuckled happily at his joke and nudged me. I smiled grimly.

"Yeah, I get it."

Nudge, nudge.

"Stop elbowing me."

Nudge.

"No, seriously, don't touch me."

A giant blast of green shook the museum as the suit of armour was blasted to smithereens, the pieces scattering over the glossy polished floor.

We stared at Starfire, who looked furious, hands glowing a familiar green.

"It touched my hakzook fikmal!"

Oh dear, that sounds like a highly personal area.

"...Your what?"

"My butt."

Ah.

"It touched your butt?"

"Robin, cool the pool," Cyborg grunted as he ducked the dino tail again.

Where the heck are the boys getting these lines?

Speaking of boys with lame lines, at that moment Beastboy dropped down beside me, panting.

"I thought you could 'totally handle it'."

"Shut up."

"Come on, Titans," called out Aqualad. "We've handled dinosaurs before. I need someone to cover its tail, another to take care of its head—"

The t-rex roared again, this time a spurt of fire bursting out of its mouth.

Well,_ that's_ inspiring.

"Ok, Raven, Star: head," Robin said, attempting to maintain some of the dignity as our leader. "Cyborg, go after Mumbo—"

"No, you stay. Robin, go after Mumbo."

"_Excuse me_?"

Oh dear.

"Yes?"

Starfire and I exchanged a look of 'well _this_ cannot end well'.

"I'm the leader, I call the shots."

"Ok, ok," Aqualad said, holding his hands up in defence. "What's _up_ with you guys?"

Robin was about to reply but Beastboy pushed in front of him.

"I'll tell you what's up with us, you—"

"Oh trust me," Aqualad smirked, "I know _exactly_ what's up with _you_."

And he glanced at me.

Ugh! I wish he'd stop doing that.

It's getting kinda creepy.

Beastboy's eyes widened and then narrowed. He looked like we wanted to punch Aqualad in the face. He might have too, if we hadn't been so rudely interrupted by the T-rex shooting a jet of fire at us.

Ah, nothing like a flaming wall of doom to defuse the tension.

I pulled up a shield of black energy just before the flames reached us. Then enveloping the dinosaur in it, threw it across the room. As it struggled to its feet Starfire shot a starbolt at its head and it lay still.

"Now, we may all go after Mumbo," Star folded her arms in annoyance. "Does that _suit_ everyone?"

Without waiting for an answer, (she finally understands rhetorical questions! I'm so proud!) she flew out of the room with me on her tail.

"Boys are stupid."

"Agreed."

* * *

We found Mumbo two floors up, clutching what looked like an ancient tribal sceptre.

"Now all the magic in the world shall be mine! What a finale! Thank you, thank you!" He bowed to his imaginary audience.

Oh great, he's talking to himself again.

I wrapped the sceptre in my power, ripped it out of Mumbo's hands and pulled it through the air towards me.

"No!" he cried, "Give me back the staff!"

Hehe, now all the magic in the world is _mine_! _Mine, _I say!

Just kidding, I'm a _reformed _demon child.

Or am I?

_Shut up._

Sorry.

"Sorry, Mumbo," Robin yelled as he ran through the door behind us. "But it's time to put you on ice!"

And he threw one of his ice disks at the villain's feet, freezing him instantly.

Hehe...it's funny because, you know...ice.

_What are you _on_? It's not funny at all._

I know but I have to at least pretend his puns aren't lame; otherwise I'd want to kill myself every we beat anyone.

_...fair enough._

We looked around at each other as the sound of sirens in the distance grew louder.

All was silent until Cyborg folded his arms with a serious look on his face.

"So...who wants waffles?"

* * *

By the time we got back to the tower you could've cut the tension with a knife.

Well, maybe a chainsaw actually.

It was some pretty thick tension.

I really didn't know why though; I though everyone was over reacting.

Robin was pissed at Aqualad because of the whole _'I'm the leader' _thing, which then lead to him look stupid in front of his girlfriend.

Aqualad was pissed at Beastboy because... I don't know actually.

Beastboy was pissed at Aqualad because, well, I don't know that one either but I never know what's going on with him.

Cyborg was pissed at Aqualad (I'm beginning to see a pattern), because he spilt his soda in the car.

Maybe that's why Beastboy's pissed; cause now we're not allowed to have soda in the T-car.

_...I doubt that's it._

It might be; he's pretty stupid.

The doors swooshed open as the four of us entered the common room (robin and Starfire had gone off to sharpen his birdarangs. Which may or may not be code for make out...I hope not).

I would have disappeared too, but I was starving.

Alright, Raven, you have a plan, that is both simple and effective:

Make a sandwich or something.  
Not ham.

Teleport back to your room.  
Lock the door  
Close the curtains

Meditate for the next few hours/ hide from the moronic problems of the spandex wearing idiots you call friends.

_You wear spandex too..._

Yeah but I have a cape; that cancels it out.

_...If you say so._

I was considering whether or not it would be worth it to scrape the mould off the cheese (we desperately needed to go grocery shopping) when and incoming video call popped up on the computer screen.

Beastboy and Aqualad were slouched, scowling at each other on opposite ends of the couch and I was hiding behind the fridge door so Cyborg took it upon himself to answer it. As he accepted the call an image of Bumblebee appeared on the screen.

"Yo, Bee!" Cyborg smiled brightly, "What's up?

"Oh hey Sparky," She returned his smile, looking slightly worried, "Um... I saw just wondering if you guys had seen- Aqualad? Is that you?"

"Um...hey Karen."

I crawled out from my hiding spot to stand next to Beastboy and Cyborg and who were surveying the two Titans East members with identical looks of confusion. Due to the fact that every time I appeared on a scene, Aqualad stared at me weirdly (which I was quite sick of) when I made it to my teammates I stayed crouched behind Garfield's armrest.

"What are you _doing_?" He asked, looking down at me

"Hiding from Garth," I hissed, "shut up."

As we turned out attention back to Bumblebee and Aqualad, I could have sworn I saw a smile on his face.

Well at least he's not throwing a hissy fit anymore.

"Boy, don't you 'hey Karen' me!" Bumblebee was yelling, "Where the hell have you been?"

...

"I uh," Aqualad glanced at us nervously then back to his team's leader "I was dropping off the report for you remember?"

"No. I remember you _begging_ to deliver the report personally despite the fact that I could have just e-mailed it, and you saying that it'd only take an overnight trip!"

... x2

"Yeah...?"

"IT'S BEEN A WHOLE WEEK YOU IDIOT!"

"Yeah..."

"Um..." I ventured, getting to my feet. Risky I know but In really had no idea what was happening, "What's going on?"

Bumblebee looked at me.

Then at Aqualad.

Then back at me.

Then back at Aqualad.

A look of understanding dawned on her face.

Then she smashed her palm against her forehead.

"Nothing" She groaned, "Just come home you sadass, we've got work to do," She turned back us with a much cheerier look on her face, "See you guys later, hope you have a merry Christmas."

Bumblebee disappeared from in front of us as we stared at Aqualad in disbelief.

"Dude..." Beastboy began, "You ran away from home...?"

"...No."

"Just to hit on Ra-"

"NO!"

...

Oh Azar.

"Well," Garth said in a very final tone, "I guess I'll be going then. Bye guys, merry Christmas. Say goodbye to Robin and Starfire for me...Bye Rae."

OH GOD! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

"Bye Garth."

As soon as he had left I turned to the others.

"...Did he like...have a crush on me or something?"

They just laughed.

Boys are stupid.

* * *

A/N: PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS!

heh heh...ok i know its kinda been like MONTHS since i updated AND I'M SO SORRY!  
FOOOOORGIIIIVE MEEEEEE!

random saddo begging aside, I can actually explain myself. since you last heard from me, I've had to do the following:

Studying School Cert. trials -for those non-aussies among u (actually, are any of you australian? that'd be cool) its pretty much the first bigass important state wide test kids do hereStudying like a mad womanReal School Cert.Work experience for a whole week- I had to get 4 buses a day and I was tired when I got home dammit!Music tour with my school for three daysSchools Spectacular for three days (if you don't know, i'm too lazy to explain; go google it)Business Week Year (grade) 10 graduation/S.C results/reports (SECOND IN ENGLISH BITCHES!...and 1st in P.E but i'm fairly sure that's a misprint...)And since the holidays began I've had a pool party, a birthday party and a 'thank god this crappy year is over'/ annus horibius party (well_ I_ liked 2010...)It was MY birthday on the 21st dec (on which I wrote this for you people!)Random sporadic Christmas preparationsMASSIVE WRITERS BLOCK THE WHOLE TIME!And my computer got a virus and everything got deleted and I was like 'NOOOOOO' but then we got it all back and I was like 'WOOOOOO'MY COMPUTER DELETED HALF OF THE CHAPTER AND I HAD TO RETYPE IT FROM MEMORY!My internet is a ball of crap

Yeah...so basically I've had a really crazy past few months and that, on top of the fact that I am naturally lazy is why this is so late...  
but I made sure I would have it done in time for Christmas :)  
So merry christmas, happy new year and viva la lizards!

Oh and I'll be changing my pen name soon.  
This is because when I created this account I was a *shudder* twilight fangirl.  
And now I'm not  
like SERIOUSLY not.

Please don't give up on me!

I still love you and I am 100% dedicated to finishing this!

ok, thats all.  
PEACE OUT MA BROTHAS!


	9. home alone with Gar and Rae

I landed with a thud on the familiar cold grey stone.

Unbelievable, I'd been coming here my whole life and I still couldn't manage to land on my feet.

I picked myself up and began walking down the road of rocks forming in front of me.

It was good to be back in my head.

Sighing, I gazed up at the black nothingness splotched with red moons and stars that made up the sky above me. Ever since Trigon's defeat, almost three years ago now, I'd started visiting here less and less.

"RAVEN! Hey, how are you!"

For, you know...obvious reasons.

Through the previously empty archway in front of me, ran a girl dressed entirely in pink. She skipped haphazardly up the path towards me, her hair swinging madly behind her.

Note to self: never skip. It is NOT a good look for you.

When the girl reached me, I desperately tried to sidestep her hug, but some things are inevitable.

"I missed you sooooo much!" the girl cried happily as she wrapped her arms around me. "Like thiiiiiiiiis much!"

"Hi, Happy," I groaned, patting her on the head. "Get off me."

"Ok!"

As she stepped back and twirled around giggling with delight, I couldn't help but stare. No matter how many times I saw her acting like this it still weirded me out to watch a pink clad version of myself spin round and round with my arms thrown out to my sides, laughing my head off.

Though, admittedly, I think that would weird anyone out.

"Yay!" Happy smiled when she finally came to a stop. "I'm so glad you're here! Now we can go play hide and seek and turn cartwheels and feed the ducks and sing-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I held my hands up and tried to edge around her to get to the archway, "I'm not here to play games with you...and since when do we have ducks in here?"

"I don't know, it's your mind!" She giggled, grabbing my hand and pulling me throw the stone arch that marked the edge of her domain.

We came to a stop in a field of pink and yellow flowers with butterflies fluttering around our heads. I repressed a shudder.

"Why are you here then?" Happy asked as she settled down and started to fiddle with the stem of a daisy. "You hardly ever come anymore, you must have a reason."

"I just want to make sure everyone's...in balance, I guess."

"Oh, ok. Well, just so you know, I think you could afford to show me a bit more." She sighed, lying back in the grass.

I sighed. "Look, I'm perfectly hap-"

"Trust me, Rae Rae, I know you're happy. All I'm saying is, I think you should show it more! You know, laugh, smile, _giggle_."

Giggle?

Is she mad?

"Uh, thanks but no thanks," I said, turning to walk away. "I've gotta go."

"Ok, come back soon and we can ride unicorns!"

Um...

"Ok, ducks are one thing but I KNOW there aren't any unicorns in my head!"

"No...but you could think up some. Couldn't you? Please?"

There was only one thing to do.

Run.

"Bye, Happy!" I called as I raced over to the next doorway.

"Ok, we'll talk about this later then!" Her voice grew fainter as my surroundings suddenly changed and the world faded in and out of focus, changing from bright colours to shades of grey. I looked around but couldn't see Timid anywhere.

"Hello?" I called. "Timid?"

"She's hiding behind that bush," said a voice from behind me.

I spun around only to come face to face with another me wearing what I can only describe as Harry Potter glasses.

"Oh, hey, Knowledge," I said, glancing over to where my yellow emoticlone was pointing. "Uh, why is she in a bush?"

"Oh, she's always hiding behind something, that's just how she is. She _is_ the timid side of your personality after all."

"Great," I groaned, walking over to the bush only to find a hunched gray figure crouched behind it. "What's wrong now?"

"Nothing," Timid squeaked. "Please don't be mad at me!"

I sighed and sat down next to her. Experience had taught me that if I just left my timid side alone when she was like this, whatever was causing her anxiety would end up getting to me out in the real world.

"I promise I'm not mad at you, just tell me what's wrong."

"Well...it's just that..."

"Yes?"

"Um..."

"Spit it out woman!"

"I-"

_Raven..._

"Um, sorry Timid, hold that thought."

_Raaaaaaven..._

I stood up, trying to identify where the voice calling my name was coming from. I couldn't see anyone but the three of us for miles.

"Uh, did you guys hear-"

_RAVEN!_

My eyes snapped open and I was back in my room, hovering cross-legged above my bed.

And someone was bashing something (hopefully their head) against my door.

"Raven? Raaaaven? You are in there, yes?"

Ugh! A girl can't even dig around her own mind and try and pull their emotions out from under a bush around here!

I slid to the ground and stormed over to the door, flinging it open to reveal Starfire dressed in what I must regrettably describe as a frock (it had puffed sleeves) and a nervous looking Robin.

That's right, fool! Be afraid!

"Greetings, Raven!"

"Hey, Rae."

"What?" I folded my arms, scowling. "I'm trying to meditate in here."

"Yes, but-"

"You do know what will happen if I don't get to meditate, don't you? I'll lose control of my powers, destroying you all and be forced to walk the Earth alone as the empty shell of an emotional wreck! Is that what you want, Starfire?"

"Do you wish to accompany us to the video store?"

...And I thought _Beastboy_ didn't listen.

_I think they all just tune your rants out now._

Well, that's nice!

_Sorry kid, life's hard._

"Um, no."

"Very well, which movie would you like to view?"

...

Well if you can't beat 'em...

"Can you get 'Underworld'?"

"'Love Actually' it is!"

Oh crap, no! Not again!

"Star-"

But she had already waved goodbye and was floating down the hallway.

"For the love of-" I muttered under my breath.

"Hey," Robin shrugged, "at least she doesn't make you watch 'Bridget's Jones's Diary' on repeat."

Pfft.

"Wanna bet?" I groaned, leaning against the doorframe, "and at least she doesn't put your hair in rollers."

Robin looked at me seriously, "_Wanna bet_?"

...

"Bit too much information there, Richie."

"...Richie's not gonna catch on."

"It might, give it time."

We were interrupted by Starfire's voice coming up from the depths of the tower.

"RIIIIIIICHAAAAARD! VICTOR AND I ARE NOW READY TO DEPART! COOOOOOME!"

Man, that girl can yell.

Wait...

"Uh...please tell me she means 'Victor, _Garfield_ and I'"

"Nope, Beastboy didn't want to come, said he was in the middle of something important."

Well, I highly doubt that.

"RIIIIIIICHAAAAAAARD!"

"Gotta go, see ya later Raven." Robin waved me a hasty goodbye before running off down the hall.

Great.

Why do they always have to leave me home alone with Beastboy?

He's probably going to end up setting himself on fire.

Again.

Well, this time he could just put himself out; my favourite pair of jeans (i.e. the only ones that didn't have _some_ form of floral design) still had singe marks from last time!

I walked back into my room, the door sliding shut behind me. Trying to put all thoughts of crazy green people out of my head I folded my legs in the air and fell back into my trance.

* * *

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zintho. Azarath Metri-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

I landed back on my bed softly (a.k.a. screamed like a little girl and fell on my bum) as the tune from my communicator blasted through the silence of my room.

Why can't these people leave me alone?

Heart still pounding from being ripped so savagely from my state of tranquillity, I flipped open my communicator.

I swear to God, if it's Garth asking if I want to see his freakin' aquarium again I gonna-

"Hey Rae!"

...

"BEASTBOY!"

"...What?"

"You're right down the hall! Why are you calling me?"

"Uh, 'cause you don't like it when come to your room."

"Dear, you are mistaken. You see I just don't like it when you make contact with me, no matter how you do it."

"Words hurt, Raven."

Ugh.

I threw myself back on the bed glowering into the communicator.

"I'm hanging up now."

"No! Wait, I wanna show you something!"

"For the last time Garfield, I do not want to see how many times you beat the high score on 80% of the Neopets games!"

"It's-"

"Look, I'll admit it is slightly impressive, but I'll take your word for it ok? You don't have to go through every single one of them and-"

"Raven!"

"What?"

"It's not that, ok? I just _have_ to show you something."

"...what is it?"

"Come and find out."

"I'm not going into your room!"

He actually looked quite insulted.

"Why not?"

"It's..."

What's the word?

Ah.

"It's gross."

"No, it's not!"

I looked at him sceptically. "There are still slices of pizza under your bed from when we first moved in."

That is, if they haven't grown legs and walked away.

Which, you know, is a distinct possibility.

Garfield seemed to be considering his options. "What if I clean it up?"

"By the time I get down the hall?" I raised my eyebrows.

His face lit up immediately. "I can do that!"

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but grin.

"Alright, fine." I pulled myself off the bed. Maybe if I humoured him, he'd leave me alone after this, "I'm going now, and I swear, if I can smell anything rancid when I get there, I'm leaving."

"Yes ma'am!" He saluted far too enthusiastically as I flip my communicator shut and walked out of my room.

Well, I wouldn't be able to get back into my meditation now anyway.

_Yes, yes, too many distractions._

Exactly

...

...

_You're a bit curious, eh?_

Pfft. No.

_Sure, sure._

I was just about to knock on Beastboy's door when I heard a deafening crash from within the room.

Oh dear.

"Um...Gar?" I called. I was all about nicknames today. "What are you-"

The door flew open to reveal a dishevelled looking Beastboy, clutching a sponge. He looked absolutely delighted with himself.

"I did it!" He beamed, grabbing my wrist and pulling me into the room, "Look, you can see the floor and everything!"

And see the floor, you could.

I swear I had taken under five minutes to get there but in that space of time he had managed to transform what Starfire and I had previously referred to as 'the void' into something a decent human being would deem liveable.

"...Yes you did." I stared in awe as I smelt, not cheese older than Silky, but a pine forest.

He looked down at me suddenly, as if just realising something. "...Did you just call me Gar?"

...

"You call me, Rae." I reasoned.

"...Cool." He seemed far happier about it than the situation deemed fit, but I let it go.

I folded my arms and glanced up at him. Azar, I missed the days when I was taller than him.

"I thought you wanted to show me something."

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot!" He said, dragging me over to a computer sitting in the corner of the room.

Attention span of a gnat, this one.

"Prepare yourself," He said, suddenly serious. "This will disturb you."

"Why do you keep showing me things that you_ know_ will disturb me?"

"Shush, look at this."

He opened a window on the monitor and the homepage of a brightly coloured website filled the screen.

"_,"_ I read aloud. "_Your complete guide to Jump City's Teen Titans_, blah blah blah, what's the big deal? It's just another one of those creepy fansites."

"Read on, dear Rae Rae."

"No 'Rae Rae'."

"Sorry."

I turned my attention back to the screen "..._hosted by the world's number one evil doer, villain extraordinaire and all-round hottie Control Freak_ ...CONTROL FREAK?"

WHAT THE DOUCHBAG?

"Yup."

"_Control Freak made a website about us!_"

"It gets worse...check out the photo gallery."

Oh hell to the no!

_...you can't pull that off._

Beastboy clicked on a link of the side bar. When the new page loaded my mouth fell open in horror.

There was picture upon picture of our team, covering the page. Some were of us fighting villains but most were just of us at the pizza place or the park or the movies. There was one of Starfire and Beastboy dragging me onto the Ferris wheel at the carnival. There was one of the four of my friends playing Frisbee in the park while I read under a tree. There was even one of Garfield picking his nose.

And there were hundreds of them.

"Holy crap..." I whispered. "He is_ stalking_ us!"

"There is also a quotes page, a profile for each of us and a chat room where 40 year old geeks discuss the colour scheme for Robin and Starfire's wedding," Garfield groaned.

Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww

"I feel so...violated."

"Tell me about it."

Scanning the photos again, I nearly screamed as I found one from the time we went to the beach and Starfire made me wear a bikini. Like, as in, when I was getting changed she stole all my other clothes and left me with nothing but a horrible little scrap of material.

"AHHH!"

Ok, I screamed.

"WHAT?"

"Nothing!" I said hastily as made to cover the picture.

"What? Lemme see!"

"..."

"Come on, there are ones of me scratching my butt!"

"I don't care! I see you do that every day!"

"Show me!"

"No! No! Get off me! I'll kill you, you son of a-!"

Although powers-wise I am clearly far superior, he outmatched me in physical strength and managed to grab my hands and pull them off the screen.

NOOOOOOO!

_Well time to change your name and flee the country._

I lunged across him for the mouse and closed the window, bracing myself for his laughter and weeks of teasing that were sure to follow.

When I looked at him though Garfield didn't look even slightly amused. In fact, he looked...really, _really_ pissed...

"That-" Beastboy punched desk with quite some force while growling a string of swear words, "-pervert!"

...

Well...yeah, I agree actually.

"So I take it you're not gonna tease me then?"

"What? No! And besides it's not like I haven't seen...it...I mean...you...I mean..."

...

"AHH?"

"WHAT? Stop hitting me! I was _there,_ remember?"

"Just...just! UGH!" I wrapped my cloak tightly around myself and, at a loss for what else to do, plonked myself down on the floor, my cheeks burning.

Ewwwwwwww.

Great, now Timid's never going to come out from under the frikking bush!

"Don't worry," Beastboy said sliding down beside me. "When the others get home I bet Cyborg will be able to hack it or something."

".."

"I won't, I won't, sheesh! I'm trying to you help here!"

"Whatever," I got up and turned towards the door. "See you later."

"No, wait!" he cried, making a grab for the hem of my cloak.

"What?"

"Um, you don't have to leave! You could...just stay here, you know we could...hang out."

"I don't-"

"Come on, we never hang out just the two of us!"

"...That's because we're liable to kill each other if left alone together in a confined space for too long."

"I'll be good, I promise! How can you say no to the face?" he begged, morphing into a tiny green kitten.

Yeah, like _that's_ going to work.

...

...

Dammit.

"I guess I have nothing better to do." I shrugged, sitting down again.

I am probably going to regret this.

_Probably, but for now, just shut up._

"Really? Awesome!" He grinned. "You wanna play Mega Monkeys 7?"

"No."

"Monopoly?"

"Not really."

"Hungry, Hungry Hippos?"

"I'm seventeen, not seven."

"Melvin said you were really good at it."

"Kids say the darndest things..."

"So that's a...?"

"No."

"Uno?"

"...Alright then."

* * *

Two hours and a large cheese pizza (of which I only got to eat one slice) later we had played about five different games multiple times (including Hungry, Hungry Hippos, during which Garfield discovered that, yes, I was very good at it) and were now wondering what was taking the others so long.

"Maybe they got attacked."

"They would have called us."

"Maybe the roads got blocked by snow."

"The car has a sonic cannon, I think it can handle snow."

"Maybe they hate us and they moved away to Iceland and we'll never see them again!"

"You have abandonment issues, don't you, Garfield?"

"Only mildly." He yawned, rolling on to his stomach and beginning to flick a bouncy ball back and forth against the wall.

I took the opportunity while his mind was occupied to get up and investigate a cork board that hung on the far wall of the room.

For the most part it was covered with outdated coupons, magazine clippings, random shiny crap he had found on the street and to-do lists from a year ago but the edges were sprinkled photographs. They were mainly of all five of us but here and there were ones of Beastboy and Cyborg playing video games, of Starfire with Robin thrown over her shoulder, of Robin and Beastboy holding me down so that Starfire could paint my nails (why did they _do _that?) and of Beastboy with his arm slung around my shoulders while I gave him a very questioning look.

Down in the bottom corner of the board was pinned an old glossy photo that was ripped and yellowing at the edges. It was of a man and a woman in what looked like their early thirties set against a backdrop greenery. On the woman's lap sat a little boy with wide curious blue eyes and the man's blonde hair. They were smiling.

As I studied the little family I felt Garfield's presence behind me.

I pointed to the little boy. "Is that you?"

"Yeah." He said.

"Are those your parents?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah."

I looked up at him to see he hadn't taken his eyes off the picture. I nibbled on my lip. He'd only ever told us about his past once. It hadn't been a very long conversation. All I knew was that his parents had been biologists who had taken their young son with them on a research trip to Africa where he contracted a rare disease from some crazy green monkey (still not sure I heard that part right) and was given the untested lifesaving antidote that would turn his skin green and give him his powers.

I also knew that some time later his parents had drowned in a boating accident.

And that Garfield still blamed himself for it.

And that I just reminded him...

Crap.

_Ok Raven, you can handle this._

I can?

_Yes, just say something comforting and if he cries, DO NOT SLAP HIM!_

Right.

Comforting.

Ok.

"They look nice."

They look _nice_?

_Are you kidding me? _

That's not going to help at all!

What's wrong with me?

_You have no idea of how to relate with others?_

I KNOW!

I was about to try and remedy my poor excuse for sympathy (which probably would have made it a whole lot worse) when he smiled at me.

"Yeah, they were."

Phew!

Crisis averted.

...

_Smile you idiot!_

I smiled at him.

And he smiled at me.

And I smiled at him.

Then he grinned evilly.

And I winced.

"Ok, so now you have to show me your old photos."

"I don't have any."

HA!

"What no little Raven baby pictures?"

"Nope."

Never before had I been so glad to be raised in a dimension with no technology.

Beastboy looked a little taken aback. "Seriously? Like none at all?"

"What were you expecting?" I smirked at the startled look on his face. "An album full of photos of picnics with my dad?"

"...I guess I just never thought about it before."

"Well, try not to think about it at all, I don't want it keeping you up at night," I rolled my eyes then started towards the door. "Come on, I'm hungry."

"We just had all that pizza." He pointed out, but followed me nonetheless.

"No," I said as we started down the corridor, "_you_ had all that pizza, I had one slice and when I looked back you had the whole thing eaten."

"Heh heh, my bad."

"Yes it-"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEN! BEEEEEEEEASTBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

"Holy pyjama llama! What was that?"

"COOOOOME, WE HAVE RETUUUUUURNED!"

We looked at each other.

"I feel a mystery is about to be solved, Rae."

"I think you may be right, Gar."

I took hold of his wrist and we teleported into the kitchen.

* * *

"-And then Starfire saw _anothe_r sale and by the time we got back the car had been towed so we had to-"

"Ok, ok!" Beastboy held his hands up to stop Robin tirade of complaints about why they were so late. "We get it!"

"So, what did you guys get up to?"

Beastboy looked at me hopefully.

"Nothing much." I shrugged and he beamed at me, before looking at Starfire solemnly.

"But, dude, forget about us, just please tell me you didn't rent 'Love Actually'!"

"No, we did not."

"Oh thank God!"

"They were out of stock so we got 'The Notebook'."

...yay.

* * *

**A/N: Now at the end cause for some reason I think its more likely u'll read it here...**

**Just reminding you again (cause its not totally obvious now or anything lol) that I changed my pen name**

**its done**

**i'm glad**

**i'm never going back**

**lets just all try to move on with our lives after such life shattering new?**

**anyway**

**I know what you're thinking**

**"2 chapters in 4 days? What madness is this?"**

**Well I'm going on holidays 2moro until the 4th of jan so I thought I might as well just post it cause there's no internet where I'm staying.**

**Plus this one was pretty easy to write (with some exceptions...), I like wrote the whole thing in a day**

**So yeah**

**Please keep reviewing it makes me soooo happy! (and now I'm gonna try to actually reply to my reviews cause my friend told me to stop being lazy, but i won't be able to for a little while, cause you know, no internet.)**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR MY BELOVED ONES!**


	10. the rules of Christmas eve

I hate shopping.

Have I ever mentioned that?

_Only every freaking day..._

Right, so you'd think that by now Starfire would have gotten the message.

"Oooh Raven! Let us partake in that store next! I believe I see a sculpture of a duck that Beastboy would most enjoy!"

"Sure, Star."

She had not.

And this wasn't just any old shopping.

This was shopping with a purpose.

This was _Christmas _shopping.

On Christmas _eve_! (Yes, we did leave it to the last minute, why do you ask?)

I'd already been elbowed in the face by a soccer mum and it was only midday!

We had a tradition of splitting up according to gender to buy our Christmas gifts. I don't know why, but I'm fairly sure it's because the boys are afraid of going shopping with Starfire.

Something I totally understand.

"Should I, or should I not have the duck gift wrapped?"

Well, _there's_ a question I never thought I'd be asked.

"Uh, I guess...be careful, they charge extra."

"Of course."

I had begged to go with the boys (which was much less terrifying albeit also much less productive).

I had begged to go alone.

I had begged to get everything on eBay.

No luck.

Apparently, according to Starfire, I could not be trusted to shop alone.

Which, as a matter of fact, I take great offense to!

Just because I don't _want_ to and I've never done it before doesn't mean I couldn't!

"Alright Raven, come sample these feathered hats."

It was time to take my life into my own hands!

I'm a girl, I'm sure I have a built in shopping gene somewhere!

"Uh Starfire...?"

"Yes?"

_Go child, be free!_

"I think I should go off by myself now."

"What? Why?"

"Um...well...because I have to get your present! Yeah, that's it! I can't get something for you with you watching me the whole day!"

Smooth like a smoothie.

_You really are very lame._

"Oh! Of course, very well then, I shall-"

"See you at home then!"

And with that, I ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And ran into mini Christmas tree.

And stopped.

And fell.

And...well you get the picture.

"Ow..." I groaned, getting up, rubbing my head.

Oh well, at least no one saw-

"Look Mummy! That lady ran into a tree!"

...

I detest children.

_No, you don't, you ol' softy._

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

After dusting myself off and hiding behind a pole until the kid stopped staring at me, I took out my shopping list and looked down at it.

_Robin_

_Beastboy_

_Starfire_

_Cyborg_

Something told me I wouldn't be needing this...

Ok, so first things first.

Robin.

Ok.

I gazed around; hoping one of the colourful displays would inspire me.

The brightest most eye-catching one was for Christmas themed lingerie.

...That might make Star a bit angry.

Maybe a nice...oven timer...?

_Dear lord, you_ are _screwed._

Shut up, I know Robin very well and I can vouch for the fact that he does not like things to be in the oven for too long!

_...well, I guess-_

Ha! Yes, good plan, I'll get him that! One down, three to go!

_I pray for you..._

* * *

A few hours later I was trudging back up to the tower feeling quite proud of myself. I had gotten everyone something and something for everyone _and _I had beaten Starfire home.

Who's the best shopper now, huh Star?

Who?

WHO?

_I think you might be coming down with something..._

I flew up to my bedroom window, phased through it and stashed my presents under my bed before making my way downstairs.

The common room seemed to be devoid of all like save for a very frustrated sounding scratching noise that was coming from the far side of the sofa.

Azar, I hope Silkie hasn't bred with anything...

I peered over the edge of the couch, ready to defend myself against whatever strange hybrid was lurking down there, only to find Robin lying on his stomach with a notepad in his hand.

"...What are you doing?"

"Ahh! Raven?" He gasped, flipping around in shock. "Don't _do_ that!"

"What?"

"Sneak up on people!"

"I do not sneak, thank you very much, I am simply a lady and we have light footsteps."

"...Are you feeling alright?"

"I might be a bit delirious actually; I just came from the mall."

Robin suddenly looked panicked. "Is Starfire with you?"

"No, I did it all by myself."

"Oh, thank God."

"Um...thank you?"

"Sorry, no I didn't mean that, it's just," he held up his notepad to show me, "I still haven't figured out what I'm going to get her."

"Ah, ok well..."

Crap, now I'm going to have to give romantic gift advice.

Which I am most clearly not qualified for.

"What did you get her?" he asked, crawling up onto the sofa with a look of sheer desperation on his face.

"A tea cosy."

...

"Um...why?"

"Well, she's always said how she thought they'd make good hats."

...

That sounded much less stupid in my head.

_No, it _really _didn't._

"Ok, well I have to get something less..."

"Ridiculous?"

"Sorry, it is a little bit."

Humph.

"Well, what have you got so far?" I asked, sitting down beside him.

Robin looked down at his list. "Um, flowers?"

"They'll die."

"Fake flowers?"

"You tight ass."

"A stuffed toy?"

"Like every other year?"

"One of those little plastic Santas that hula dances?"

"...And you dare laugh at 'tea cosy'?"

"You are of no help, you know that?"

"Maybe this is the universe's way of telling you have to come up with it yourself," I shrugged.

"I just _told_ you all the things I came up with myself and you shot all of them down!" Robin groaned, reaching for the TV remote.

"What are you doing?"

He said hopelessly, "Maybe I'll be inspired by an ad."

We watched in silence as a commercial for lawn mowers came on.

Robin looked thoughtful "Hey, look!"

I shook my head.

"Damn."

We had been watching 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' for a few minutes when Robin turned to me again.

"Hey," he said, "has Beastboy pissed you off lately?"

"Uh, no more than usual, why?"

"Well, I thought he might be trying to make up for something cause he got you something really-" he suddenly stopped, with the look of someone who had just said something they weren't supposed to. "You know what? Never mind."

...?

"He got me something really _what_?"

"I said never mind!"

"Come on, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing!"

"Tell me!"

"Leave it alone!"

"No, you tight wearing bastard! Tell me!"

"...What did you call me?" He laughed.

_Some nicknames are strictly for mental purposes only._

"Uh...TELL ME!"

"I can't or it won't be a surprise!"

"I don't care, though."

What can I say? I have a thirst for knowledge

"Yeah, but he will."

Ugh...damn people with _feelings_.

"Alright, fine," I sighed, folding my arms. "Just tell me what was so special about it."

"Well," Robin began thoughtfully, "I didn't know how he got the money for it, so I asked Cyborg and he said that he, um...sold some stuff."

...

"Like what stuff?"

"Like his cd player-"

What?

"- And like half of his videogame collection-"

_What?_

"-And a bag of his used tissues for like $50 on one of our fansites."

_WHAT?_

I could feel my mouth fall open. "...Why the hell did he do all that?"

"I don't know!" he said quickly, hiding behind his notepad. "Stop pressuring me, woman!"

I sat in stunned silence as Robin went back to scribbling things on his list, shooting me nervous glances every few seconds.

Why would Beastboy, of all people, raise all that money only to blow it all on me?

_I dunno._

...

I just didn't_ get_ it...did we make an agreement to get each other really awesome presents and I forgot about it? Because I only got him-

Oh craaaap...

"What's wrong?" Robin asked, noticing the look of horror growing on my face.

"Nothing! I certainly did not only get him a $20 Toys 'R Us gift card and a Harry Potter poster! That's for sure!"

The look he gave me was a mix of pity and amusement. "_Raven_-"

"What? Everyone likes Harry Potter, alright!"

_Calm yourself girl._

Right.

"...It's ok."

"Don't give me that, you told me book 7 made you cry."

"Would you keep it down!...and I didn't _cry _ok?...I just felt kinda bad for Harry..."

"Whatever," I smirked, pulling myself up of the sofa. "I'm gonna go meditate."

"Ok, see ya." Robin turned his attention back to his list, biting his lip in a most unRobin like fashion.

Love makes fools of us all.

* * *

The piercing ring tone from my communicator jerked me violently out of my trance.

Azar, I have _got_ to set that thing to vibrate.

I flipped it open to look at the screen, "Hello?"

"Hi Raven!" Melvin beamed up at me from the communicator, eyes shining.

"Melvin, hey, what's up?"

"Well, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas now cause we're gonna be real, real busy tomorrow!"

I lay down on my bed and propped my head on my hand, smiling "Really? What is it you'll be so busy with?"

_See? Softy._

Shut it.

"Raven! We gotta open presents and play with them and build a snowman and make a gingerbread house and-"

"Ok, ok I get it! Big day."

I the background I could hear someone crying my name.

"Yeah, I—wait a sec, the boys wanna talk to you."

For a moment Melvin disappeared from view and I could hear yelling, then from what I could see on the screen the communicator was dropped and then came more yelling.

Maybe I should get them separate ones...

When the image settled again it was of Timmy holding a squirming Teether and grinning.

"Raven!"

"Yay! Raven!"

"Hey guys, how are you doing?"

"It's Christmas tomorrow!"

"Yup, you excited?"

This question was answered by a long and energised 'Wooooooo!'

Which I took for a yes.

"Timmy! Give it back I wanna talk to her!" came Melvin's voice in the background.

"No."

"Timmy!"

"No."

"Timmy," Mel's voice was suddenly full of a startling authority, "If you don't go to bed right now Santa won't come!"

That girl is devious.

The little boy's face turned to a look of absolute horror as he turned from his friend to me, "Uhhh..."

"Maybe you should go," I said wisely, "You don't want to upset Santa."

"Ya! Bye Raven! Oh! Merry Christmas!"

From his place on Timmy's lap Teether held up his little hand in a wave "Buh-bye Raven."

"Bye, boys. Merry Christmas."

The communicator was dropped again as Timmy made a mad dash out of the room and was picked up by the little blonde girl.

"And may I ask why Santa won't be angry if you're not in bed, young lady?" I asked as she sat down with a look of triumph.

"Duh, Raven I'm a year older than Timmy so I don't have to go for one more hour, that's the rule!"

First I've ever heard of it...I think she made that up.

_Oh yeah, cause you have_ so _many wonderful Santa moments from your childhood._

"If you say so," I shrugged.

"So, whatchya dooin'?"

"Nothing now but I went Christmas shopping today."

"Oooh! What did you get? No, no do you know what the others got you?"

Straight to the point this kid.

"Um no, not really, that's kinda the point," I started but changed tact as I saw her ponytails visibly droop at this lack of gossip, "But um...Beastboy apparently got me something nice...and expensive." I said the last part more to myself than her.

...Please don't ask me. Please don't ask me.

"What did you get for him?"

Damn.

"Uh...a gift card and a poster..."

Which I do _not_ feel guilty about.

In the slightest.

"Raven! That's not nice!"

"It's to Toys 'R Us! You love Toy 'R Us!"

"Yeah but BB is big. He doesn't like that stuff!"

...That's negotiable.

"Yeah but-"

"No, if he got you something nice you gotta get him something just as nice! That's the rule!"

"You're full of rules tonight, aren't you?"

"Raven, you gotta go get him something better! He really likes you and you'll hurt his feelings!"

Ugh! Feelings again? Seriously?

"But-"

"Promise me, Raven! Phone-pinkie-promise!"

...

_Don't do it._

"Fine," I groaned, "Phone-pinkie-promise."

_Damn you to the fires of hell._

Meh, I've been there, not so bad.

_Bull._

"Yay! Good!" A voice in the background made her look over her shoulder, "I gotta go now."

"No one told the monks about the rule?"

"I tried but they don't listen to me!"

"Don't worry about it Mel, I'll call you some other time."

"Ok, bye, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas."

I hung up and buried my head in my pillow.

I don't_ have _to go.

_You pinkie promised._

It's not binding, It was only a _phone_-pinkie-promise!

_..._

...I have to go don't I?

_Mmhmm._

Damn.

* * *

My mission was simple: get Garfield something that doesn't suck and get the hell out of this place before I lose it entirely.

Executing said mission...not so simple.

I had been running in what I hoped was a nonchalant way around the insanely crowded mall for half an hour when I finally admitted defeat and realised my desperate need to call for backup.

Starfire?

No, I _can_ do this without her! I can!

Bumblebee?

No, the risk of Aqualad stealing her communicator to talk to me is far too high.

Jinx?

Hmmm.

...

"Hey, Jinx."

"Raven? Um...hi."

I sat down on a bench as I tried to figure out how make this _not_ the most random call she'd ever received.

"...Merry Christmas."

"Uh, yeah you too, what's up?"

"I kinda need your help."

She actually looked quite please, "Sure, shoot."

_Just keep it short; simple, you don't want to overload her._

"Well, I got Beastboy a really crappy Christmas present which I thought was alright because we always get each other really crappy presents but then Robin told me that he sold all this stuff so he could buy me a really nice present so now he's going to give me something really thoughtful or whatever and I'm going to give him $20 to spend at Toys R Us!"

_Wow, all in one breath._

"I see?"

"So now I'm back at the mall, and I have to get him something else only I don't know how to shop and it's Christmas eve and I have no idea what to get! And I pinkie promised!"

_I warned you about that._

"Wait, you need me to give you _shopping advice_?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Um, ok," She began tentatively, "So...he's a guy, right?"

"He likes to think so, yeah."

"So, I've know a lot of guys in my time. Good guys, bad guys, relatively neutral guys-"

Um...good for you?

"And the one thing I've found they all have in common is the desire to be manly."

...Well I _guess _so.

"Okaaay...so I should get him something _manly_?"

"That's what I'm thinking."

...

"Ok, yeah. I can do that."

She smiled. "Happy to help."

"Alright, thanks. I've gotta go, if I stay in here for too long I'll shrivel up and die."

"Ok, bye then."

"Bye."

I hung up my communicator and looked around.

Manly?

Manly.

Right ok, so what are manly things?

A...barbeque?

_He doesn't eat meat._

A...razor?

_Too cheap...and eww._

A...gun?

_ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE? YOU WANT TO GET _GARFIELD LOGAN_ A GUN? YOU ARE OUT YOUR GODDAMN TREE?_

Ok, ok! No gun!

A...power drill?

_...That might do._

I had never been to a hardware store before that day and I can safely say I never will again.

The radio was blasting 80's rock and country music the whole time.

Everything was too high up for me to reach. (I don't really like using my powers in public when I'm not bashing up a bad guy. It attracts the too much attention. And fanboys.)

I'm fairly sure I was groped on several occasions.

And the whole place smelt strongly of motor oil and sweat.

_Very manly smells I'm sure..._

Also, if you just go in and ask for a power drill, the shop assistant with a Mohawk will laugh at you and your little girly ways, before showing you their entire extensive range in a very smug way for twenty minutes before you finally lose all patience and sanity and just yell 'I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT'S FREAKING SPECIAL FEATURES, IT JUST NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO MAKE HOLES IN CRAP!'

...which I am quite disturbed to report, I think may have turned him on a little (oh, well at least I got it 15% off).

I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could, clutching the box that Mr Mohawk had so kindly gift wrapped using a rather large pink bow (ironic, no?), to my chest hoping that the creepy old guy from the chainsaw department wouldn't follow me home.

Garfield had better appreciate this!

**

* * *

**

A/N:

**Allo, how are you all finding 2011?**

**Did you see the Sydney fireworks?**

**Could you see the Sydney fireworks?**

**Did you **_**want**_** to see the Sydney fireworks?**

**You should; they're the best in the world *is proud* or at least that's what we tell ourselves...**

**Anywho just want to explain myself on some issues:**

**Jinx: I'm not really sure how well I did her but if you're wondering why she's so happy to help with the titan's random little problems, it's cause in the comic at one point she felt like she wasn't accepted by them yet because they hadn't given her a communicator blah blah blah so I just figured any time they include her in anything she's be like 'wooo!'**

**Probably not. Ignore me.**

**Hardware stores: lol I know they're (mostly) not like that, but I'm sure some are so if there are any hardware store buffs out there, don't bully me.**

**And also my bffl /beta keeps telling me I should apologise to the Aqualad and Aqualad/Raven fans, for making him so creepy. I am sorry lol I don't know how that happened, I like Garth quite well actually but that's just how he turned out. And anyway if it was up to said beta (u know who you are woman) he would have been sleeping on a futon outside Raven's room (...I might still use that for something)**

**so humph I say. HUMPH!**

**Review? I love you .**

**(Oooh I rhyme)**


	11. a traditional titans Christmas

"Raven!"

Ow.

"Raven!"

Ow.

"Raven!"

Freaking ow!

I was curled up in bed like a good girl, the following morning, minding my own business, not hurting anyone (physically _or _mentally), when two very hard, loud things decided to burst into my room and attack me.

"Raven!"

I pulled my head out from under the covers to survey the situation and was absolutely appalled.

Beastboy and Starfire.

Were jumping.

On me.

"Raven! Raven! It's Christmas Raven!"

Where has the fear gone? _Where?_

Everyone used to be terrified of even coming anywhere near my room and now they bash the door down and _jump on me?_

Does not compute.

I sat bolt upright, an aura of black energy swirling angrily around me and took the only logical course of action (for any situation really).

I smashed Garfield in the face with my pillow.

"Get the hell off me you psychos! Do you know how freaking heavy you are!"

Starfire, giggling at our, what she would describe as, 'antics' flew off the bed and glided over to the doorway where Robin and Cyborg stood, doubled over in hysterics.

"Told ya'll she'd take it well," Cyborg gasped between chuckles.

"Ahh! Mercy! Have mercy you angry little girl!" Beastboy laughed as I continued to bring my pillow down on his head.

No fear at _all_.

_...this must be remedied._

"No!" I yelled, with the joy that only hitting Garfield can bring. "Get off me!"

"I am!" he cried as he slid off the bed, dragging the covers off with him as he fell. "Stop hitting me! I'm very delicate!"

"Yes, yes, like a pretty little flower," I gave him one last whack before crawling off the other side of the bed and walking over to stand in front of the others, sighing. "So I guess you want to-"

"Gifts! Yes!" Star somersaulted backwards in the air, clapping her hands with glee.

I folded my arms. "You're all terribly materialistic, you know that?"

"Come, come!" Seemingly unable to contain her joy, Starfire spun around, picked up her boyfriend like he was a rag doll, threw him over her shoulder and flew off down the hall.

She's always doing that.

As Cyborg and I watched the happy couple disappear from sight Beastboy made a rather spectacular leap over my bed and jumped up next to me.

"Let's gooooo!" he cried, grabbing both Cyborg's arm and mine before looking at me expectantly, "Well, beam us up Scottie."

Ugh, I am not a taxi service!

"Don't you make Star Trek references at me! And don't be so lazy, walk!"

He looked at me.

And I scowled at him.

And he grinned quite crazily at me.

"...Alright!"

Without letting go of my wrist (Cyborg was freed on the basis that there was no way Beastboy could have pulled _him_ anywhere) Garfield ran from the room, his free hand waving energetically as I was dragged along behind him.

Maybe teleporting wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all...

* * *

"-And this one is from Victor to Garfield."

Starfire sat at the base of the Christmas tree and did her usual job of handing out the presents while the rest of us were seated in a semi circle around her wearing (forcibly in my case) the matching Christmas sweaters she had knitted for us the year before.

Mine had a third sleeve and Beastboy's had, for lack of a better word, tentacles.

He took it to mean she loves us more.

I just think Starfire's crazy.

But then again, who am I to talk?

I sipped my tea as Beastboy ripped at his present from Cyborg rather violently (I'm fairly sure I saw some claws), sending wrapping paper flying everywhere.

"Cool!" He exclaimed. "Avatar: the Last Airbender! Season 3!"

"Extended edition and Director's Cut!" Cyborg pointed out proudly.

"Dude! Marathon!"

Oh dear.

As they were high fiving Starfire delicately opened a small package I saw was labelled 'To: Star, Love: Richard'.

Hmm, I wonder what he ended up getting her.

If it's personalised M&Ms, I'm leaving.

As she finished with the wrappings two small pieces of paper fell out onto her lap.

"What is-" Starfire began, she eyes widening as she further inspected the, what appeared to be tickets.

I glanced sideways at Robin who was looking particularly pleased with himself. As he waited for Star to finish deciphering his present I leaned over to him and whispered, "Are those _plane tickets_?"

"Safari in Africa. We were watching a documentary about it and she said she'd like to go."

Wow.

From dancing Santas to this.

"You work fast," I muttered, impressed.

"I know a guy," he shrugged, "and if she asks, I had this planned for weeks."

Sneaky.

I approve.

Either the shock had worn off or she'd only just figured out what the little pieces of paper meant because at that moment Starfire leapt up from her place of the floor and tackled Robin with enough force to leave an indent in the sofa.

"Oh Richard! Do you really mean it! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Ow-Star-can't-breathe!"

"I know! I also have much of the excitement!"

She then proceeded to grab his arms and zoom around the room in loops, her boyfriend dangling limply behind her, while the boys watched on in confusion.

Ah, young love.

As Cyborg got up from his seat to either save Robin or to find out what was going on I felt a familiar tug on my hair.

"Raven?"

"Yeah?" I turned around in my seat to see Beastboy was looking at me nervously, clutching a small box. "What?"

"I...uh...Merry Christmas," he stammered and thrust the box into my hands.

"Oh, um, thanks." I looked at the gift in my hands labelled 'To: Rae, From: Gar'.

Damn, I fear they have become our official nicknames.

Ah well, better that Rae Rae.

I pulled off the wrapping paper, opened the box underneath and my mouth fell open.

Sitting in the box, surrounded by light blue tissue paper was delicate silver locket on a thin chain. The lid was engraved with swirling lines and patterns of a bird in flight with tiny diamonds dusting its wings.

It was beautiful.

And by the look of it, expensive.

"Uh...earth to Raven?" Beastboy waved his hand in front of my face, when I didn't say anything.

"How much did you _spend_ on this?"

...Ok maybe not the most grateful thing I could have said, but who could blame me? It looked like it cost more than the entire tower!

"That," he said indignantly, "is not the polite thing to say. You must say 'Thank you, Gar, it is lovely and you are my favourite person in the whole world'."

"Garfield, I-"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved my words aside, "open it."

Obediently, I fiddled with the clasp until it popped open to reveal a miniscule picture of the five of us in one of the frames.

Garfield looked suddenly embarrassed, "Yeah, cause you know you said you didn't have any photos of your family, and I thought that was kinda sad and you know we're kinda your family now so I just thought...yeah."

Oh...

Ok.

That is very...

_Mushy?_

_Lame?_

Sweet. That is very sweet.

_It is, isn't it?_

I was so busy feeling all warm and fuzzy etc that I hadn't noticed that Garfield was still talking.

"-I know you don't really wear jewellery. Or like jewellery. Or have ever expressed any interest in owning any jewellery. Or anything shiny for that matter, but...actually this might not have been the best idea..."

He's still all stuttery.

What is wrong with this boy today?

It kinda seems to be a different thing that's than what's wrong with him every other day...

_Shut up and be nice._

Oh right!

"I love it Gar," I smiled. "Thank you."

His whole face lit up. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I clicked the locket shut again and commenced with trying to clasp it around my neck.

Which, having so little experience with jewellery of any kind, took a few tries.

If possible, he looked even happier (and they say _I _have mood swings). "You're gonna wear it?"

"I know I'm not all that familiar with these things, but is that not the point?"

"No, yeah, yeah totally!"

I fastened it in place and moved my hands away for inspection, "So? What do you think?"

I might as well humour him.

Tis the season and all that.

When he just stared at me silently, I had to resist the urge to flick him in the forehead.

"Hello?"

"Oh! Oh yeah! It totally suits you! Very good!" He grinned hastily, "and it'll kinda distract people from looking at your funky sweater."

I normally would have had a comeback ready, but it really was a _very_ weird piece of clothing.

"Thanks," I looked down at my present again, I did actually truly like it, I realised now I had a chance to examine it properly. "It's really nice."

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled.

We sat in a pleasant silence until...

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, "So, get anything for me?"

"Yes I-" My voice faded away as I realised the full horror of the situation.

I got him a drill.

HOLY CRAP, I GOT HIM A DRILL!

WHEN IS HE EVER _EVER_ GOING TO NEED A _DRILL_?

NEVER! THAT'S WHEN!

WHY IN AZAR'S NAME DID I GET HIM A GODDAMN-

"Raven? Everything alright?"

"Yes! I mean no! I mean..."

Is there any way to fix this?

_Can you try that time freeze thing again?_

It was kind of a fluke...

_Then no,not really._

"It's under the tree," I finished lamely, while he made a passionate dive for it, "but just so you know it's not very-"

"Whoa! Is this it? It's huge!"

...That is because it is compensating for something.

Very high levels of suckyness.

As Garfield tore away the paper I tried to prepare myself for him to turn to me and say 'I got you something beautiful and meaningful and you got me something incredibly stupid and useless. I am extremely disappointed and crushed. I am now going to my room to cry. You have ruined Christmas, Lady Grinch.'

"Wow Raven...this is really-" he held the box up to the light to inspect it.

"I know, I know I'm sorry, I just'"

"-Cool!"

...meh?

"Uh, come again?"

"Dude! Awesome! Check this out!" He had the drill out of the box and was revving it in a manic way as he called over his shoulder to Cyborg.

Wait...he _likes_ it?

_Of course he likes it, he's an idiot._

Well for once I'm actually grateful for that.

Cyborg jogged over and threw himself over the back of the couch, landing in between Beastboy and I, his eyes shining.

"That's not what I think it is, is it?" He asked, his voice rising to an unnaturally high pitch with excitement.

"Um..."

"That's the Turbo Force 5000!" Cyborg pulled the drill from Beastboy's hands, "it can drill through one inch of steel in two seconds flat!"

"Dude, give it back! It's mine!" Garfield yelled, strangely protective of his craptastic present.

"What's the matter?" Cyborg smirked teasingly, "Did _Raven_ give it to you?"

"Uh, yeah."

They both turned around to look at me, Cyborg (having apparently just noticed I was there) looking shocked.

"Wait, seriously?"

I nodded and he burst out laughing.

_Well,_ someone _was bound to laugh at it._

"You two," he threw an arm over each of our shoulders, "are priceless."

I looked at him in confusion "What are you-"

"Nothing!" Beastboy suddenly leapt to his feet, pulling his robotic friend with him, "Come on dude! Let's go...make a snowman!"

Acknowledging that this was probably the best course of action, Cyborg put down the drill and let himself be dragged towards the door. Upon hearing of their mission Starfire finally released Robin (who looked like he may have been permanently dented) and announced that she would be in charge of 'clothing the man of snow'.

Once the trio had run out the door singing a very off-key rendition of Jingle Bells, Robin pulled his mangled body (I may be exaggerating this slightly...) over to the kitchen where he began to plan Christmas dinner. Owing to the fact that Starfire's cooking scares the spandex off of us, Beastboy tried to make (not buy, _make_) a tofu turkey the previous year and I can't even make toast, Robin and Cyborg took on the annual task of preparing our Christmas meal, the preparations for which, due to Robin's freakishly excessive organisational tendencies usually began in the early morning.

As our fearless leader began to measure ingredients I looked over my shoulder to congratulate him.

"So, broken bones aside, that went well?" I asked as Silkie crawled his way onto my lap and began to chew on my sweater's third arm.

"Yeah, what are a few more bruises?" he grinned, dumping something into a pot. "So what did you end up getting for Beastboy? I lost consciousness for a while back there."

I was about to answer when the green boy in question burst to the door and jogged up to the sofa. Grabbing the drill which lay discarded on a cushion he smiled psychotically at me and, holding the power tool over his head, revved it dangerously and ran from the room laughing.

Ignoring Robin's expression of 'WTF' I looked down at the moth larvae dangling from my top and winced, "Silkie, I think I may live to regret this."

* * *

I don't think 'regret' is a strong enough word.

_I don't think there_ is_ a strong enough word._

Oh and also, I think Cyborg's going to kill me.

_Understandable._

I had been reading in silence while Robin chopped vegetables, for about twenty minutes before we heard the furious yelling coming from outside.

"What was that?"

"I dunno."

"Come on let's go check on the others!"

"...Do we have to? They're superheroes; they can take care of themselves."

"Raven!"

"Ok, ok I'm coming."

I stood up, trying to detach Silkie from my person as Robin ran out into the hallway. After coming to the conclusion that the only way to get said bug off would include ripping a giant hole in the front of my sweater I decided that he might as well come along for the ride. I had only just made it to the door when it slid open to reveal my four very displeased looking friends.

Well three; Robin just looked confused.

"So _what _happened exactly?" he asked as they trooped into the room and Starfire sat down at the table muttering something about not getting to properly dress her snowman.

Cyborg was fuming. "We were _trying _to create some quality snowman when _this_ idiot" he pointed at Beastboy who was holding his drill protectively, "thought it'd be a good idea to start drilling holes in MY tower!"

...

What have I done?

"I don't know why you always call it your tower dude, we all live here!"

I've released a drill-bearing doofus on an unsuspecting world, that's what I've done!

"Because I built it!"

Azar forgive me.

"We all built it!...You just did most of the work."

Robin and Starfire, having seemingly lost interest in the argument had relocated to the kitchen where Robin was now desperately trying to convince his girlfriend that nothing needed pickling and/or fermenting.

In an effort to escape before Cyborg remembered who _gave_ the moron the weapon of mass destruction, I tried to sneak off to hide under the kitchen table, where I could teleport to my room unseen.

The perfect plan.

...Not so much.

As I started toward the table, Silkie still swinging in front of me, I felt something holding on to the back of my sweater.

I slowly looked up at my captor who had both human and robotic eyes fixed on me with a quiet fury.

Damn.

_Try smiling, that usually stuns them long enough to get away._

"Helloo Vicky.."

_Vicky?_

_How was that EVER going to help? _

Shut up, I panicked!

"You," he growled, "you did this!" Cyborg pointed over to where, having lost our attention Beastboy now sat absentmindedly drilling holes in the sofa.

Yeah? Well-

_No, you do not deserve a sarcastic comeback. You have done a stupid, stupid thing that will impact generations to come._

"Um...sorry," I sighed, grimacing, "I...really can't explain myself."

Cyborg was about to reply when an explosion rocked through the common room, sending sparks flying in all directions and causing Starfire to be flung from her perch on the kitchen bench, headfirst into the sink.

We all whipped our heads around to see Beastboy, drill in hand, standing next to the hole in the wall that was once one of our flat-panel computer displays.

"Uh guys?" he asked with a mild curiosity. "Was this expensive?"

Cyborg just looked at me sadly "Don't apologise to me, apologise to the world."

I hung my head in shame until;

"Ok so who wants Christmas waffles?"

Thank you for the short attention spans of boys.

...And for our strange group adoration of waffles.

**

* * *

**

(A/N: for the next bit I apologise to anyone who hasn't seen avatar: the last airbender. The cartoon not the sucky movie (God that was bad...though as Sokka said the effects were decent)...anyways go watch it cause it's awesome :D)

Another flash of blue light illuminated the dark the room, causing Starfire to gasp and Garfield to make another unsuccessful attempt to hide behind my hair.

Seriously, if he keeps touching it, I'm getting it cut, whatever the cost.

"Stop it!" I hissed, smacking his hand away.

"But Azula just shot Zuko!"

"If you don't let me go, I'll shoot you!"

"No you won't, you like me too much." Despite his confident tone, Beastboy dropped my hair and turned his attention back to the TV.

After a second attempt at snowmen (Star's was a snow 'lady' because she wanted it to wear her sundress) and the creation of a slightly lopsided gingerbread house (gingerbread 'T' to be precise...it was strangely lifelike) which we were now nibbling on, we had settled down to watch the promised marathon of Beastboy's stupid DVDs (admittedly though it was a lot better than the time he made me watch five hours of _Grey's Anatomy_).

"Oh no!" Starfire cried as I flicked Beastboy in the head, "Azula has prevented Katara from aiding Zuko! What shall become of them now?"

What indeed?

...Not that I care.

I'm barely watching this stupid cartoon.

...

And when Katara healed Zuko and the others cheered I most certainly did _not _clap with them.

Because that would be childish.

"Whoo! Go Aang!" Garfield punched the air in victory as the figures on the screen hit each other, "Knock him dead!"

"I thought the point was to _not_ knock him dead." I pointed out as Robin got up to check on the turkey.

"Shush woman! I'm in the zone!"

Okaaay...

Just as it appeared good was about to triumph over evil, Robin called out from the kitchen.

"Guys, dinner's ready."

Cyborg was the first off the sofa, with a joyful cry of "Turkey time!" while Beastboy reluctantly paused the image on screen, muttering something about death to his feathered friends.

I stopped momentarily to enjoy the shot of Aang, frozen on television, halfway through a blink, looking thoroughly stoned, before joining the others at the table.

"Wow man," Cyborg grinned at the platters of food in front of him, "everything looks great!"

"Yeah, I seem to remember you saying you'd help with it." Robin grinned as we took our places.

"What can I say? The day got away from me."

We were just about to tuck in when Starfire suddenly jumped up clasping her hands.

"Friends!" she cried, "how foolish of me! Wait one moment please!" She ran out into the hallway leaving the four of us to glance around nervously.

"I have a bad feeling about this..."

After a few minutes, she appeared again, holding a mouldy box. We watched in blatant horror as it opened itself and something poked its eye out of it.

"If you eat it quickly enough, you will not be able to even feel it move!"

Now, what would be the fun in that?

"Er, Star? What is that?"

The thing was trying to crawl out of the box.

Starfire laughed merrily.

"A Tameranean mushroom: glaknook. We only ever eat it during special occasions. It took me many months to grow."

..._So_ many questions.

"Well, commence with the digging in!" she said happily, spearing a tentacle with her fork and stuffing it into her mouth.

"Um...I'm a vegetarian?" Beastboy tried half-heartedly as the contents of the box gurgled.

"You heard the girl," Cyborg laughed nervously as Starfire as she chewed vigorously, "it's a mushroom."

"Right...yay..."

It took everything I had not to scream as Star spooned a mound of the mushroom (eyeball included) onto my plate, and it started to slither towards me.

"Why do I get the feeling if I don't eat it, it'll eat me?" Beastboy whispered to me. His share was slowing dissolving his plate into a white blob.

Robin's had managed to pick up a bread knife and was duelling furiously with him and his fork.

Cyborg's had slunk back into the box with a turkey leg, causing him to let out a small sob that sounded distinctly like "...bye-bye turkey..."

I don't know what he was complaining about. At least he could now pretend that he ate it.

Meanwhile mine had stopped moving towards me and decided to join Beastboy's glob in a blissful reunion before sliding under the table and disappearing into the distance (aka, my bedroom).

"Why are you not eating?" asked Star, licking her plate clean. "Oh, I see! I have forgotten the pickled kangloof brain relish. I shall be back."

Aah, there's nothing like Christmas with the Titans.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Allo allo allo**

**Ok so i realise the Christmas chapter is about a month late, sorry about that but think of it as my way of prolonging the festive season for you...**

**yeah that's it...**

**Anywho I'm sure you'll all be glad to know I know officially have a plot...I know you all probably thought I had one by now, well I did at one point but it REALLY sucked so I got rid of it about four chapters ago and haven't known where I was going with this since.**

**But now I do so its aaaaaall good :)**

**...I probably shouldn't have told you all that but I feel that trust and honesty are instrumental in all relationships and I love you all dearly.**

**Crap its 4am.**

**Review? :D**


	12. lurve, hate and cornflakes

Allo my duckies.

* * *

The last week of December flew by and New Years passed in a blur of homemade fireworks, extremely painful party games and life altering resolutions (I'm going to stop picking my nose. I will join a hockey team. I shall learn the art of basket weaving. I'm gonna install an indoor pool. I will never eat fungus again) and soon we found ourselves at the airport saying goodbye to Robin and Starfire.

"-And don't forget you've got a routine prison check at four tomorrow and when you write the report on that Killer Moth incident from yesterday you _cannot_ use the words 'sadass' or 'douchebag'. Oh, and you'll need to-"

"Chill man," Cyborg grinned, plucking Robin's clipboard out of his neurotic little hands, "I can _see_ you sweating."

"Yeah dude, we only do this _every day of our lives_." Beastboy smirked as he leant against a luggage cart (in an effort to look what I assume was meant to be nonchalant), sending it rolling off down the hall as he fell to the floor, emitting a high pitched squeal and waving his arms in panic.

Oh yes, the city is in safe hands.

I could see Robin was thinking along the same lines and Starfire put an arm around his shoulders, "You must trust in our friends, Richard, they are quite capable and I am certain the city will be in pieces upon our return."

Beastboy and Cyborg exchanged a look of amusement and Robin tried to laugh but it just came out sounding like a nervous cough.

"Um, Starfire I think you mean 'in one piece'." I pointed out.

At least I hoped that's what she meant...

"Was that not what I said?" She asked in confusion as an automated voice rung out though the speakers.

"All passengers of flight 235 to Cape Town please report to gate 5. Your flight is now boarding. I repeat-"

"Well, that's us." Robin said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Oh!" Starfire was jumping up and down on the spot in a mixture of excitement and anxiety, "I will miss you all so much!"

And thus the bone-shattering round of goodbye hugs began. We all got one from Robin (well the boys kind of did that slap-on-the-back-man-hug thing but whatever) and three from Starfire.

I got four because I'm special.

And I said I'd water her plants.

"I shall confide in you through daily letters," she promised me as the boys gave Robin an extra packet of Malteasers for the flight.

Yay for me.

"Uh...you _really_ don't have to do that."

"It is no trouble, and do not worry, I shall be as detailed as possible."

Fantastic.

_Wait, detailed about what? _

She giggled, glancing at Robin.

_Ahh._

No! She means detailed about their light-hearted, _child friendly_ frolics with the safari animals! Right? ..._Right?_

_Sure she does, honey._

...Azar help me.

I was dragged from this highly scaring inner monologue by the happy couple's last goodbyes.

"See you guys in a week," Robin smiled, "C'mon Star."

Starfire called back to us as her boyfriend pulled off down the hall by the hand.

"Goodbye Victor!"

"Later, Star."

"Goodbye Garfield!"

"See ya Star."

"Goodbye Raven!"

If you send me letters about Robin's chest, legs and/or lips, I will hit you with a brick.

"Bye Starfire."

When we finally lost sight of the redhead's waving hand through bustling crowd, Beastboy turned to us with a glint in his eye.

"Let's go buy expensive crap in the Duty Free!"

"Dude, you read my mind."

"To the man-perfume shop!"

Citizens, sleep soundly tonight; the highest calibre heroes patrol your city's streets.

* * *

When we arrived home an hour later we were in possession of two bottles of '_'BANG!' fragrance for men_', a map showing all the pubs in Dublin and an embroidered top hat.

I'm so glad I live with such intelligent young men.

"Do I not look ever so sophisticated, Raven my dear?" Beastboy spun through the common room doors, clutching the hat to his head and twirling an invisible moustache, speaking with a very poor English accent.

I fixed him with a withering look as Cyborg began to rummage through the fridge from anything he deemed worth eating.

"You know that's a woman's hat right?" I raised an eyebrow and he stopped mid leap.

"No, it's not..."

"It's got flowers on it, _Lady_ Garfield."

He pulled the hat off his head dejectedly as I lamented the loss of what would have most certainly won us a slot on Funniest Home Videos.

"Why do you bully me?" He grumbled, plopping down beside me on the couch.

"Why do you insist on wearing women's' clothing?"

"Dude! It was one time_ on a dare_! And you guys weren't supposed to be home for hours!"

You_ really _don't want to know the back-story of that.

"Alright ya'll," Cyborg called to us as he lay our dining options out on the bench top, "we've got orange juice, the chicken nuggets we didn't finish from McDonalds, that omelette Star made last week, what I think is tofu...pudding? And cheese, if you're willing to scrape the mould off."

Wow.

Just wow.

"Um...is starvation an option?" I asked as Beastboy prodded the pudding with a fork and it deflated.

"In this house? Always."

"Super, I'll go with that."

We spent the rest of our evening watching _How I Met Your Mother_ (during which Cyborg and I got desperate and ate the chicken nuggets) and playing an insanely dangerous and violent game of snap (I was up against a _metal hand_ and_ claws_. I gave up for my safety) before the boys decided 10pm was the perfect time to start a _Battlestar Galactica_ marathon and I went off to bed.

Up in my room I found that my communicator had five messages from Starfire, the most recent of which involved her whispering to the screen:

"The plane is very dark now, I believe everyone is asleep. Oh, no, the man in front of me is awake! Hello, sir! Ow! It is not nice to throw your shoes at people!...Would you like to play the game of noughts and crosses?"

It continued on like that for another fifteen minutes.

I love my friends.

* * *

"You pit sniffing crud eaters! Lemme outta here!"

"Hi Gizmo."

The following day in accordance with the sticky notes Robin had left all over the fridge, Cyborg, Beastboy and I made our half yearly check of Jump City Penitentiary.

Aka the worst excuse for a jail I had ever had the pleasure throwing villains in.

"So, um, as you can see, we've still got the Hive Five behind bars," the prison guard winced as he guided us down the corridor lined with cells.

I should bloody well hope so, we only handed them in two days ago!

"Um...good for you!" Beastboy smiled half-heartedly at the guard but it didn't seem to boost his spirits any.

Who could blame him? He worked at the jail with the highest escape rate in the state and twice a year he had to show the people who caught the bad guys just how many they'd let out.

Couldn't be the most confidence-building career in the world.

"So, your boss done anything about the changes we recommended last time?" Cyborg asked as we turned a corner and Doctor Light waved at us dejectedly, "You know, about higher security detainment and electromagnetic force fields and reinforced titanium for the Metas*?"

"The official metal of the Teen Titans." Beastboy whispered to me, "Get it? Titanium? Titans? Man I've gotta start writing some of these down!"

"It really would be very easy to send you to the underworld," I told him as the guard explained to Cyborg that construction had been scheduled for 2030. "All I'd have to do it click my fingers and it's bye-bye Moron."

"You know, a lot of your threats involve sending me to hell. That's a bit extreme if you ask me."

"Thanks for noticing."

"Look man," Cyborg was saying as Beastboy glowered at me, "that's really not gonna work."

"Um, well, the executives are having a meeting in a few minutes," the guard checked his watch nervously. "Maybe you'd like to, uh, put forward your suggestions there, or-"

Cyborg perked up the way he always did when he thought he was about to achieve something.

"You know what Carl? I think I will. You two," he looked at Beastboy and I, "keep patrolling the cells, I won't be long."

Beastboy pulled himself into a flamboyant salute, knocking my hood off my head in the process. "Aye aye Captain Metalbutt! He said, causing the prisoners in the cells next to us to snigger and Cyborg to bury his face in his hand before following Officer Carl towards the meeting.

"We can't take you anywhere." I muttered. Scowling, I grabbed Beastboy by the ear and dragged him off down the corridor.

* * *

"Raven?"

"Yeah?"

"Raven?"

"What?"

"Raven?"

"_Garfield_."

"I'm _bored_."

"Do you want me slap you in front spider-head-guy?"

"His _name_ is Fang...and no."

"Then shut up."

We had been patrolling (i.e., wandering absentmindedly) the various levels of the prison for about twenty minutes and had noticed nothing suspicious. Well, not unless you count Dr Light trying to sell us a packet of M&Ms for twenty-five dollars the second time we passed his cell as suspicious.

And apparently the lack of excitement was getting to be too much for Beastboy.

I don't know what he was expecting; last time we came here they showed us a fifteen minute presentation on how they prevent the spread of fungal diseases in the shower room.

Starfire bought a copy.

"Wanna play I-Spy?"

"No."

"Ok, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with- ooh! Secret door!"

I folded my arms, "That's not how that game goes."

"No, _secret door!_" he said, pointing at a shadowy door at the end of the hall, marked '_STAFF ONLY_'. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards it.

Finding that there was no doorknob in sight he looked at me expectantly, "Alright, time to use your magicy ghosty powers," he waved his hands at the door, doing what I suppose he thought were 'magicy ghosty' gestures.

"Um, no" I said, "we're meant to be inspecting the prison, and besides-" I pointed at the sign printed in bold red letters, "-we're not staff."

"Oh please, we're better than staff," he waved his hand dismissively, "and I don't know if you've noticed, but we're really not serving a purpose here, we're just going in circles."

_...He does have a point._

Oh shut up, aren't you supposed to be my conscience? You know, telling me the _right_ thing to do.

_Who said anything about that? I'm just the voice you hear in your head. You're crazy._

Splendid.

"Beastboy, I don't think-"

"Ok, I didn't want to have to do this but," he pulled his communicator out of his pocket with an evil glint in his eye, "I've got Aqualad on speed dial and I know he's just dying to ask you to go to the aquarium with him."

Is he _blackmailing _me?

He can't blackmail me!

...

Oh, who am I kidding?

"You sonofabitch," I muttered and grabbing his arm a little harder than necessary, we walked through the locked door and we were instantly plunged into darkness.

* * *

"I hate you."

"Hey! It's not my fault!"

"Whose idea was it to go in there in the first place?"

"I thought it was gonna be some super ninja weapons room. How was I supposed to know it was the kitchen?"

"Still hate you."

Beastboy and I were sitting on the floor outside the meeting room, ten minutes later, soaking wet and covered from head to toes in a mixture of mustard and cornflakes.

I really just don't want to revisit that memory.

"So..." Beastboy began nervously, as I tried to scrape the gunk out of my hair, "I guess you don't wanna play 'What Animal Sound Is That?"

I gave him my most withering look; I wasn't even going to bother wasting my sarcasm on that.

"That was pushing it, eh?"

"Just a bit."

_I thought you weren't wasting your sarcasm._

I think it's just instinct at this point.

We had been sitting in silence for a few minutes when Cyborg stormed out into the hall, turning in the doorway to yell back into the room, "And _no, _I will _not_ loan you my sonic canon on weekends and Thursday game night!"

He stopped just as he was about to step on Beastboy, staring down at us in shock. It took him a minute to take in the sight of his teammates covered in what Starfire would deem 'breakfast', before he shook his head and said, "You know what? I don't even want to know."

"Can we _please_ go home now?" I groaned, as we got to our feet and started down the corridor.

As we arrived at the car, Cyborg suddenly leapt in front of Beastboy and I, folding his arms.

"I know, ya'll aren't getting in the T-Car covered in that crap," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Come on dude!" Beastboy whined, throwing his arms up in the air. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Well ya'll should have thought about that before you did...whatever you did."

"It was a simple mistake; could've happened to anyone."

"Yeah," I muttered, "with the intelligence of a soup spoon."

"Don't start with me, woman!"

"Look, you two can go figure this out," Cyborg said, getting into the driver's seat and winding down the window, "on your way home."

He wouldn't.

He's bluffing.

"Oh yeah?" Beastboy scoffed, crossing his arms, "What are you gonna do? Make us _walk_ home?"

* * *

"_I can't believe he's making us walk hom_e!"

...

"Raven?"

...

"So you're not talking you me, eh?"

...

"You can't possibly blame me. I'm a victim too!"

...

"Yeah, I know how you feel. Utter betrayal..."

...

"_Raven!_ You shouldn't use that sort of language!"

"Just stop talking, Beast Boy."

"HA! You talked! I win!"

...

"Ow! What the hell? Lady, you just crossed a line!"

"Beastboy, if you do not leave me alone, next time I will use a sharper rock and it will be aimed at a considerably lower region."

"...A nice quiet walk home sounds lovely."

* * *

It was nearly six in the evening when we finally arrived back at the bay, (having flown most the way before being grounded by an attacking flock of seagulls trying peck the remaining cornflakes out of our hair) and as we reached the water's edge, I, more out of habit than anything else, formed a round, flat disc of dark energy under my feet. As I flew out over the bay a green eagle crashed down next to me, looking exhausted.

"Phew," Beastboy said as he changed back into human form, "that took a while."

To be completely honest most of my anger faded by this point but tuning out Beastboy was just second nature to me.

"Come on," he said, half grinning, half frustrated, "there's no way you're _still_ be pissed at me."

"I can't believe, that after all these years," I smirked, "you still doubt my capacity to be pissed at you."

"Please," he wagged his eyebrows at me in a highly disturbing fashion, "you can't stay mad me."

I'm hurt; it's like he doesn't know me at all.

"I am in a constant state of being mad at you."

"Whatever baby, you know you can't resist the Green Machine."

...

I never thought my eyebrow raise could fail me, but for the first time in my life it didn't seem to go far enough.

_You know what you have to do._

"_Really?_"

"Absolutely."

"I see."

"Y-you do?"

"Goodbye, Green Machine."

I waved farewell as the disc under where Garfield was sitting vanished and he, too shocked to transform in time, fell into the water below.

I started to float away, grinning to myself when suddenly I felt something wet and slimy wrap around my waist. I barely had time to scream before the green tentacle pulled me into the bay.

Eeeeek!

Very cold.

Very wet.

As my head broke the surface of the water, I looked around to see Beastboy floating next to me laughing his head off.

"GARFIELD MARK LOGAN I WILL END YOU!"

"You're all wet!"

KILL!

All thoughts of superpowers vanished from my mind and I made a lunge towards his neck. Despite my enthusiasm, I didn't actually hit him very hard and he caught me underwater and threw me backwards.

"Wow Rae, check out your ninja moves!"

Eat pain!

_Um..._

"Calm down," he laughed as I tried to hold his head under water. "You don't _really_ want to kill me."

I punched the closest part of him I could reach. "Wanna bet?"

"Ok, ok!" Beastboy held up his hands in defeat. "I surrender!"

Good.

Submit to the power of my fists of fury!

_You drank a little of the sea water didn't you?_

Not intentionally...ugh, why is he still laughing?

"Shut up!"I splashed the water exasperatedly, instantly mentally facepalming myself for the childish gesture. "It's not funny!"

"Oh, come on," he guffawed. "Look at us!"

As much as I hate to admit it, my scowl _may _have turned into the _tiniest _smile as I took in my surroundings. Beastboy was grinning like an idiot, his sopping wet fringe plastered to the side of his face in a Bieber-like fashion as he bobbed up and down in the circle of yellow goo that was finally washing out of his clothes.

"Hate you," I smiled, shaking my head as he grinned happily back at me.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Come on," I said, as I rose out of the water and turned back towards the tower, "we're gonna catch pneumonia."

"At least we got most of the crap off," Beastboy said before transforming back into a bird.

We flew on in silence until, more to myself than to him I said "You know, if you think about it, Aqualad was just living in the water for like a years before we met him. It kinda like having a creepy neighbour living in your pool."

I'd never heard a bird laugh before but (assuming that _was_ what Garfield was doing), it sounded a lot like strangling a kitten.

Yes, I do know what that sounds like; we've faced some sick bastards in our time.

Poor Aqualad, I never had a problem with him before (after all he is, as Argent once noted 'bloody sexyfine') but ever since he started with this crush thing (which I still don't entirely comprehend), everything he did just seemed to be uber-weird.

I mean, he e-mailed me a shirtless picture of himself as a Christmas present!

It was especially scary considering I had a feeling that he expected me to respond similarly.

"You know, I was thinking," Garfield said as we reached the island and he turned back into himself, "really we've got no one to blame-"

But ourselves?

"-but Cyborg."

Ah.

"I mean, we could have been mugged just because he didn't want to get his stupid car dirty. I don't really see what the big deal is, I mean, he like has to rebuild it all the time anyway."

"You have a point," I said, beginning to trudge up to the front door, "but in all fairness I doubt we'll ever get mugged."

"We're only kids."

"We're seventeen; I'm nearly eighteen."

"It's getting dark."

"We have superpowers."

"He has a duty of care Goddamnit!"

"So, what do you want to do about it?"

H e looked thoughtful as we pushed the doors open. "We could fill the T-Car with tofu."

"He'd just make us clean it up."

We got into the elevator and started up towards the top floor.

"Wait," he said, "so you're seriously gonna help me get back at him?"

"Garfield," I said seriously, "I had to wear a leotard full of mustard today, and that man just prolonged the experience. Vengeance shall be mine."

"Wow, it's so nice to be one the good side of your anger issues for a change. So what should we do?"

I thought for a minute then grinned, "I've got an idea."

That night we reset the tower's security settings and changed the override password to 'Cyborg is a mega sucky crap tool' (Beastboy picked it) before luring Cyborg outside with a turkey leg on a piece of string (I am not joking) and activating the lockdown system.

"Well, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, Rae," Beastboy said over the muffled sounds of the great metallic douchebag's furious yells from outside.

"Likewise, Gar. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

And we went off to bed.

What can I say? You don't mess the Titans.

(Especially if you are one.)

* * *

**A/N: Hehehe...yeah I know I suck, but writer's blocks a biatch.**

**But enough of my excuses, you've heard them all before.**

**Lol sorry, like nothing happened in this chapter, which i feel bad about so hopefully that will motivate me to write the next chappie faster.**

**Maybe.**

**(so much work to do even though it the holidays, WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?)**

***Btw, for those of you who don't know/aren't as geeky as moi; metas are what they call the ppl with powers in the comics. But you're smart kiddlings you probably figured it out/didn't even notice cause I over-think everything.**

**Please Review, you make my life :D (my, that sounds a bit desperate...)**

**xoxo - lots of lurve**


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